


a piacere

by xenano



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2018-04-27 13:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5050576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenano/pseuds/xenano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Choi Seungcheol is at the top of his class and despises anyone who doesn't put in effort. At a young age, he had been conditioned by his parents to put maximum effort in anything he did, whether it be in his studies or his piano recitals.</p><p>Lee Jihoon struggles to find a balance between studying in school and supporting his brother and himself through two jobs. With a hectic life to juggle, he has no other time to sleep than in class. Not knowing any better, Seungcheol believes that Jihoon is a lazy student who has nothing better to do than to sleep in class.</p><p>One day, they're paired up to complete their music theory midterm together. How will these two lives intertwine?</p><p>Crossposted on AFF</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Partners

**Author's Note:**

> Written because THE WORLD NEEDS MORE JICHEOL

Jihoon felt his mother’s hand gently fold into his. He felt her warmth radiating from her small hand. He smiled as he felt his eyelids droop from weariness. A drop of water landed on the back of his hand and his eyelids shot open in surprise. His smile faded as he looked up to see the face of his weeping mother.

_Don’t cry. Why are you crying?_

She only shook her head in response. He opened his mouth to ask again, but was interrupted by his mother pulling her hand away from the confused child. He desperately tried to grab at her hand, only to realize that he was swinging his arms aimlessly in the air. The warmth from his mother’s hands was replaced by an unwelcoming cold breeze, and his mother’s figure was nowhere in sight.

_Wait. Don’t leave me. Don’t go-_

“Jihoon.”

A hand was lightly placed on his back, and Jihoon let out a small gasp in shock. He opened his eyes to find himself facing the front of a nearly empty classroom. He looked up to see the owner of the hand giving him a small smile.

“Class is over now,” the TA said, in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

Jihoon nodded and looked around. Jihoon and Seokmin, the TA, were the only ones left in the classroom. A few music sheets were abandoned by some careless students and Seokmin moved to pick them up off the floor. Jihoon looked over at the clock. _4:48 pm_. A sigh escaped his lips as he gathered his notes – or at least his attempt at notes. Apart from the first three lines, the rest of the lined paper was left unmarked.  He roughly shoved the notes and his sheet music into his backpack.

“What did I miss?” Jihoon asked, showing no signs of embarrassment. Had it been the first time he nodded off for the whole lecture, he would have been more reluctant to ask for help, but this had inevitably become a daily routine. For the past few weeks, Seokmin had been Jihoon’s lifesaver, volunteering his time to recap the day’s lessons for the boy. The two were acquainted with each other from before Jihoon started college, so Seokmin felt the need to help. Jihoon had meant to do well in his studies, but due to his hectic days and insufficient sleep schedule, his body conveniently insisted on drifting off to sleep during class time.

“Not much today,” Seokmin replied. “Oh, except that your midterm is coming up. It’s gonna be a partner project. Professor Jung said that she’ll email students tonight about who their assigned partners will be.”

 _Great_. Jihoon didn’t necessarily dislike working with people. He was more worried that he wouldn’t have time to physically meet with and work with them.  He even struggled finding time for himself in between his classes and two jobs. Jihoon ran his hands through his dark messy hair in frustration before standing up from his seat.

“Thanks.”

“Oh, and by the way,” Seokmin added, “Seungcheol kept staring daggers at you again today. What did you ever do to him?”

“I have no idea. To be honest, I don’t remember which one Seungcheol is. But quite frankly, I don’t really care about what he thinks of me.”

“Shouldn’t you at least know who your classmates are by now?” Seokmin teased.

“Do you know all of yours?” Jihoon retaliated.

“….Good point.”

“Gotta run. See you later, Seokmin.”

Jihoon left the classroom and hurriedly paced toward the bus stop. He watched the bus as it arrived a good hundred feet in front of him. His pace quickened from a brisk walk to a light jog, Jihoon not wanting to make the bus driver wait on him. He hopped on and gave the bus driver a small nod of an apology before settling down in a seat near the back of the mostly empty bus. He dug into his backpack and pulled out a pair of black headphones that were adorned with cute cartoon dinosaur stickers. Smiling, he rubbed one of the peeling stickers in an attempt to stick it back on before placing the headphones over his ears. After scrolling through his music on his phone, he settled on a soothing piano track. Rain began to lightly drum on the windows of the bus. Jihoon looked up at the silver clouds before closing his eyes to sleep for the rest of the ride home.

 

.......................................

 

.......................................

 

_Six months ago._

Jihoon was slouched at his desk in his room, his left hand supporting the weight of his head, his right resting on the computer mouse. Only a few inches of space separated Jihoon’s forehead from his computer screen. The boy had nodded off to sleep while listening to a piano piece and browsing through his college options. It was 4 o’ clock on a Saturday afternoon, but he had stayed up the night before jotting down a melody that flashed through his mind in the middle of the night, a choice he later regret making (the notes ended up in the recycle bin a few hours afterwards).

A light knock at his bedroom door woke him up from his sleep. Moments later, the door cracked opened and his younger brother, Chan, popped his head through.

“What are you doing, hyung?”

“Nothing,” Jihoon grunted while rubbing his eyes, his brain not fully awake yet.

Chan plopped down onto Jihoon’s unmade bed and took a glance at Jihoon’s computer. The monitor displayed a college web page in a language that he was unfamiliar with.

“Are you going somewhere far away for school?”

“Uh, I don’t know yet.” Jihoon had seriously considered attending a school out of the country. Not that he wanted to get away from his family, but there were endless opportunities out there that he wanted to experience. The only factor holding him back from making a decision was Chan. He would miss coming home every day to his brother nearly tackling him to give him a hug, or his brother giving him his adorably contagious smile when Jihoon would ruffle his hair, or his brother crying for help when he would burn his attempt at dinner.

Chan dropped his gaze to his dangling feet. “Do you know what you want to study?” he asked quietly.

“I think so, but I don’t know for sure yet.” Jihoon hesitated.

“Is it music?”

“…maybe.”

 _So I guess he did notice_. Jihoon had discovered his interest in music starting from a few months back, around the beginning of his last year in high school. He would spend his weekend afternoons at home, humming songs he would improvise in his head and writing his creations down with his personal music notation. With no formal background in music, Jihoon had no idea how to write music in the proper notations and resorted to using an organized system that he created in order to keep record of his songs. Jihoon had kept his compositions to himself and attempted to restrain himself from turning his interest into something more dangerous, into a passion. He was terrified of making the stupid mistake of longing for and blindly chasing after an impossible dream. He thought that it would be worth it to quell the interest and opt for a more realistic career path.

Their father had continuously warned them against following a passion at a young age. He insisted that young people had no idea what real passion was, and that the passion usually died down after a few years. Countless times, he reiterated his own life story, complaining that if he decided to follow a traditional career path instead of risking everything to become a singer, Jihoon, Chan, and he could have been much better off. _Don’t make the same mistake I did. You’ll definitely regret it_.

To Jihoon’s dismay, his attempt at holding himself back from loving music had utterly failed, and he was dragged deeper and deeper into a growing passion for composition. Every other night, a new melody would make its way into Jihoon’s thoughts and he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else until he saw it recorded down on paper. The passion that burned in his chest refused to die down. It taunted him, whispering promises of happiness and joy, to the point where the boy found himself giving in and wanting to make that stupid mistake of blindly chasing after an impossible dream. He knew that his father wouldn’t approve, so he masked his passion as a leisurely hobby, and he hoped to attend a school far enough away where his father wouldn’t know what the boy would choose as his major, or where it wouldn't matter what his father thought.

Jihoon had thought that he hid his passion from his family quite well. All of his musical notes were jammed into his desk drawer, out of sight from his father and brother. Jihoon figured that they both knew better than to go snooping around his belongings. He didn’t account for the fact that Chan was exceptionally perceptive of people. Chan knew his brother better than anyone else, even better than Jihoon himself, so he realized that Jihoon had found his passion in creating music much sooner than the boy himself had. One night, while searching for a midnight snack, Chan heard his brother humming softly from his bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and he stole a quick peek inside. Jihoon was so focused on his composition that he didn’t notice Chan sneaking up behind him to see what he was up to. After seeing Jihoon's musical notes, Chan left as quietly as he came in, satisfied that his older brother might have finally found something that he loved. Every other time Chan happened to be awake at ungodly hours, he could hear Jihoon from the other side of the thin walls, softly humming his new creations.

“I think you’ll do well, hyung,” Chan said after a short silence.

“We’ll see,” Jihoon laughed. “By the way, do you know when Dad’s coming back home? He should have been here by now.”

Chan shook his head. “Maybe he went on an errand.”

“It’s almost time for dinner, though. I guess that means I’m cooking tonight. Does fried rice sound okay?”

“That’s the only thing you know how to make, anyways,” Chan giggled. “But you make the best fried rice,” he blurted quickly before Jihoon had a chance to tackle him on his bed. Satisfied, Jihoon left to prepare their meal, but not before playfully sticking his tongue out at Chan.

Chan left Jihoon to cook dinner, while he returned to his own bedroom. He bent down to reach under his bed and pull out a gift bag. _What if he doesn’t like it?_ Chan started feeling doubt about the gift that he prepared for his brother. He repeatedly fixed the tissue papers that were sticking out from the top until he felt that he was doing more harm than good and dropped the bag onto his desk. After debating on writing a card or not, Chan decided to write a note on an index card, realizing too late that he didn’t have any stationery papers or cards on him. He took a pen and began writing.

     Dear Jihoon hyung,

     You’re finally all grown up and heading off to college. What am I ever gonna do without my beloved brother to feed me his extravagant fried rice? ㅠㅠ

     Anyways, wherever you go off to study, remember to think about me and call me sometimes, okay? I believe in you and I know you can do well in whatever you decide to study (though I still think

     you would do great in music).

     Love you lots,

     Chan

 

“Chan, dinner’s ready,” Jihoon yelled.

“Coming!”

Chan slipped the index card into the bag and proceeded to meet Jihoon at the dining table. The aroma of fried rice filled the halls. Chan sat down as Jihoon set two plates on the table. Although Jihoon really could only make the one dish, because that was all he ever made, he had become exceptionally skilled in the culinary art of fried rice.

The two finished their meal and placed their dishes in the sink. Chan then called out to his brother.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“I…uh….have something for you.”

“For what?”

Chan swiftly went into his room and returned with the gift bag in his hands. “It’s a graduation gift. I know it’s a little early, but I couldn’t wait to give it to you.”

He offered his older brother the bag, who readily accepted it. Jihoon wore a puzzled look as he pulled out a pair of black headphones decorated with cartoon dinosaur stickers.

“I wanted to customize them, but I couldn’t find any way to engrave them or anything, so I thought you might like the dinosaurs instead,” Chan blurted out.

“Aren’t you the one who likes dinosaurs?” Jihoon grinned.

“Well…I…I guess.”

Jihoon laughed at his flustered brother.

“The stickers are great. I’ll think of you whenever I see them. Thanks, Chan. I really like it.” Jihoon reached up to ruffle his brother’s hair, though he was shorter than the younger. Chan smiled in relief.

“Oh, there’s also a note in there, but read it later! Like when you actually graduate.”

 “Okay, okay, I will.”

.................

A few hours had passed since the two finished dinner, and Jihoon felt uneasy. It was unusual for their father to be out past 10 pm, especially on a weekend. _Why hasn’t he called, yet? What if he got in an accident?_ Worse and worse thoughts began to make their way into Jihoon’s head until he gave in to his worries and decided to call his father. He dialed his father’s number and waited. A few seconds later, he heard the sound of a default cell phone ring tone echoing in the apartment hall. Startled, Jihoon headed toward the source of the sound. It came from behind the doors of his father’s bedroom. He stood right in front of the door with his phone in hand. Holding his breath, Jihoon opened the door. As the door swung open, Jihoon scanned the room and froze at what he found: nothing.

The usually messy floor of his father’s room was spotless. More specifically, everything was gone. After getting past his initial shock, Jihoon walked toward the closet and peered inside. Nothing. He walked over to the dresser and pulled out the drawers one by one. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. All of his father’s clothes and belongings were nowhere to be found. Only in the last drawer did Jihoon find something: a folded piece of paper, a faded picture, and his father’s ringing cell phone. The picture was from fourteen years ago, when their mother was still alive. In the picture, their mother was crouched down to Chan’s level, with Chan wrapping his arms around her neck. The two had the same silly smiles plastered onto their faces, while Jihoon stood to the left of their mother, frowning from jealousy of his brother. Jihoon turned his attention to the folded piece of paper and opened it, dread filling in his stomach.

_I’m sorry. Don’t come looking for me._

Jihoon could feel his heart pounding in his chest. _What does this mean? Did he…did he run away? Why would he leave us? Weren’t we doing just fine? …were we doing fine?_ A million thoughts raced across his mind, and his emotions flashed from confusion to sadness to hopelessness to anger. He could feel hot tears ready to fall when he heard the floor creak from behind him. He blinked rapidly in order to get rid of his tears before turning to face the source of the sound. Chan stood in the doorway in an apparent state of shock from seeing the empty bedroom.

“What-” Chan began, but couldn’t find the right question to ask. The cell phone stopped ringing, and a heavy silence followed.

“Pack your things, Chan,” Jihoon responded lifelessly. “Looks like we’re on our own now.”

 

.......................................

 

.......................................

 

“Thank you, please come by again,” Jihoon bowed as he bid farewell to the last customer. He looked up at the clock. _12:27 am._ He let out a groan of exhaustion as he lowered his body onto the cash register counter, his right cheek flat on the counter’s cool surface. A lot of students from the university came to the convenience store during late hours to purchase some late night snacks or ramen.  A few more minutes were left until someone else would come to take their shift.

“Why don’t you go a little early? I can take over until Wonwoo gets here,” Kwon Soonyoung, Jihoon’s co-worker, offered.

“I’m fine, just a little stressed is all,” Jihoon replied.

“Midterms?” Soonyoung guessed.

“Yeah, there’s a partner project for one of my classes that I have to do.”

Soonyoung, having finished stacking up items, came over to the counter where Jihoon was standing. “Partner project? That sounds like fun. At least you don’t have to do all the work by yourself.”

“But I’m worried that I won’t have time to meet up with my partner,” Jihoon explained.

“Ah, that’s right. You have a lot of long shifts,” Soonyoung responded in understanding. He glanced at his watch. “Well speaking of which, it looks like your shift today is up. Go home and get some rest. Hope your project goes well.”

“Thanks,” Jihoon muttered before clocking out and heading out to walk home.

When Jihoon returned to his one bedroom apartment, he was welcomed by the scene of his brother nodding off on the couch in the living room. He gently nudged the sleeping boy awake.

“Chan, why are you out here?” Jihoon asked softly.

“I was waiting for you to come home,” Chan replied. “Welcome back,” he smiled lazily.

“You didn’t have to wait for me. Go sleep on the bed.” Jihoon appreciated the gesture, but he also knew that Chan had to wake up early to get to school.

“Okay. Don’t stay up too late, hyung.” The younger yawned

“I won’t. Goodnight, Chan.” Jihoon ruffled his brother’s hair as the younger passed by to head toward their bedroom.

“Goodnight.”

Jihoon slumped onto the couch and tilted his head back. _Just another day_ , he thought. Late night shifts weren’t an odd occurrence during the week for the boy. After their father left the two, Jihoon and Chan packed their belongings and moved to a smaller, cheaper, one bedroom apartment relatively close to Chan’s high school. At first, they used their past savings to pay for rent and buy groceries, but they knew that it wouldn’t last very long. The elder picked up a job as a dishwasher in a restaurant within walking distance of their apartment, working only as many hours as he could handle while juggling his high school workload. Once he graduated, Jihoon found two other jobs, one as a convenience store worker near his future university’s campus, and another as a barista in a nearby café. He figured that he needed to rack up his hours and save up before starting his college life, well aware of the expenses. Just before his first semester started, Jihoon quit his job as a barista and kept his other two jobs, not wanting to overwhelm himself. The workload proved to be just on the edge of being too much for him, as the boy only averaged about four to six hours of sleep, depending on the weekday. Needing to pay for rent and provide for his brother and himself, he felt that he couldn’t risk requesting fewer hours. He just had to use weekends to catch up on all the sleep he missed out on over the course of the week.

 _I’ll just rest my head for a few minutes. Then I’ll start on homework_ , the boy reasoned. _Yeah, just ten minutes…_

 

.......................................

 

Jihoon jolted awake from the beeping of Chan’s alarm clock. He brought his hand up to massage the dull ache bothering his neck. He looked over at the clock on the wall. _6:00 am. Shit_. His ten minutes of rest had turned into a five hour slumber on the couch. Chan emerged from their bedroom, rubbing his eyes. He spotted Jihoon getting up from the couch.

“Did I wake you, hyung? Sorry,” Chan apologized.

“It’s okay, my shift starts earlier today,” Jihoon replied.

The elder prepared breakfast for the two while Chan took a shower. By now, his menu had expanded to include fried eggs and seaweed soup, which, along with rice, had become their go-to breakfast. Once Chan finished, Jihoon took a quick shower and changed into a sweater and a pair of jeans, knowing that the convenience store would turn the air on full blast like always. The two left the apartment together but parted ways at the front of their apartment building, Chan taking a right to walk to school and Jihoon turning left to return to the convenience store.

“See you later, hyung.” Chan hugged his brother goodbye.

“Don’t wait for me if I’m late, again,” Jihoon commanded.

Chan began to protest, but realizing the time, he gave up and walked off in the opposite direction.

Jihoon, also running a few minutes behind, adopted a quick walking pace in order to make it to work on time.

 

.......................................

 

Once again, Jihoon settled into his seat in his music theory class. As much as he struggled to keep his eyes open, both his lack of sleep and the professor’s soothing voice lulled the exhausted boy into a light slumber. He remembered waking up periodically, but every time he did, everything the professor said during the lecture went in one ear and out the other. Seokmin tried to help by tapping Jihoon’s shoulder discreetly every time he passed by his desk, but his efforts were in vain. Nothing could wake him up completely. Near the end of the lecture, Jihoon finally snapped out of his sleepy state and took in every word that came out of Professor Jung’s lips. The first of two things he retained information about was the last decade of the Baroque era. The second had to do with the midterm project.

“I sent everyone an email last night, and you should have all gotten it,” the Professor explained. “You have two weeks to complete it, but you should start as soon as possible.”

Jihoon whipped out his phone to check his email. He opened the email that the professor sent out to find out who his assigned partner was. _Choi Seungcheol. Why does that name sound so familiar?_ Jihoon didn’t need to think about it for long. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand as he felt a pair of eyes burning holes through the back of his head. Cautiously, he turned his body around to meet his partner’s hostile gaze. His mind wandered to the conversation he had with Seokmin yesterday. _Seungcheol kept staring daggers at you_. Jihoon closed his eyes and sighed.

 _That’s why_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was really long and there wasn't much to it (and barely any JiCheol interactions TT^TT), but there was a lot of background information that I needed to cover in order to better explain the situation and what comes up next. There's still a lot of background to cover, but I think I'll spread it out over the course of of the other chapters. There are a lot of things that don't make sense, but I promise that it'll make more sense later (or at least I hope it does), like what happened to their mom, what happened to their dad, why Seokmin and Jihoon know each other, etc.
> 
> So in this AU, Seokmin is actually older than Jihoon (being the TA and all). He's still an undergraduate so he's probably a year or so older. Right now, Jihoon is 18, Chan is 16, and Seokmin is 19. Jihoon and Chan's age gap is 2 1/2 years like in real life). I think most everyone else's ages will more or less be the same relative to real life.


	2. First Impressions

A shiver passed down Jihoon’s spine.

His eyes were still locked on the piercing onyx eyes from behind him, his body frozen by the icy glare.

“You will present your midterms to the class the day it’s due. I’ll give you time tomorrow to work on it in class, but you will have to use your own time for the rest of it,” The professor said. “And with that, class is dismissed.”

At the professor’s last words, the students in the classroom began to shuffle out of the classroom. Hearing the movement of the students brought Jihoon back to his senses and he swiveled his body back to face the front. Seokmin sent a sympathetic look over to Jihoon, realizing that the exchange of glances between the two most likely meant the two were paired up. He mouthed a “sorry” to the other while pointing at the watch on his wrist before making his leave. Soon, Jihoon and his partner were the only ones remaining in the room.

Jihoon lowered his eyes and stared blankly at a spot on his desk. A pair of black sneakers came into his peripheral view and stopped about a foot away from him. Even without looking up, Jihoon could feel Seungcheol’s hostile aura.

“So…I guess we’re partners,” Jihoon started, keeping his eyes fixed on his desk. “When do you want to meet up to work on it? I can pretty much only do weekends, but I’ll see if I can adjust my schedule if I need to.”

“I don’t mind doing the whole project,” Seungcheol responded bluntly.

Jihoon looked up and his gaze met with the onyx eyes again. “What?”

Seungcheol huffed in irritation. “I said, I can do the whole project.”

Jihoon frowned, unsure of other’s intentions. “Well I wouldn’t want you to do all the work. Like I said, I’m free on weekend-”

“I’ll just do the project. You can just follow along when we present it. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to get us a good grade,” Seungcheol explained, hoping that the other would happily agree.

Unfortunately for Seungcheol, Jihoon wasn’t one to take credit for work he didn’t participate in. He also didn’t miss the implication that he would cause the both of them to earn bad marks.

“I’m perfectly capable of doing my share of the project,” Jihoon said, a little offended. “Besides, isn’t this supposed to be a performance by both of us? I would need to practice the music, too.”

“So…I’ll arrange the music and give you the sheet music to practice.”

Jihoon felt his eye twitch in annoyance. “Or…we can both work on it. You know, _together_. Since it’s a _partner project_. _With partners_.”

A couple seconds of silence passed and Jihoon believed he made his point.

“Or why don’t we –”

“What the _hell_ is your problem?” Jihoon snapped. “Are you _that_ against working with me?”

“Well I don’t know if I want to leave my grades in the hands of the guy who treats class like naptime,” Seungcheol retorted. “Why do you even bother taking the class if you’re not even going to try, anyways?”

“Don’t talk like you know me.” Jihoon hissed.

Another silence.

Jihoon turned to face his desk and carelessly jammed his notes into his backpack. “Well hate to break it to you, but you’re going to have to trust me since we’ve been paired up.” He turned back around to Seungcheol.

“If you think I’m gonna back out of working on this project, you have another thing coming.” Jihoon walked off, heading toward the door. Right before exiting the room, he stopped, turned back around, and waved, flashing his sharp canines toward the other.

“See you tomorrow, _partner_.”

The shorter boy continued to exit the room, but not without bumping shoulders with a taller boy sporting a messenger bag, making his way inside. The shorter muttered an apology without looking up and continued on his way. The taller returned an apology in a deep voice that Jihoon felt was vaguely familiar, but in his rush to get home, he dismissed his thought and headed toward the bus stop.

During the heated first conversation, there was one thing that Jihoon could make clear: Seungcheol was really starting to get on his nerves.

 

.......................................

 

“HYUNG, THE STOVE!”

A rather unpleasant aroma of burnt kimchi flooded Jihoon’s senses as he snapped back to reality. He had been preparing kimchi fried rice and had drifted off in thought of his previous encounter. Only when Chan called out to him did he realize that the kimchi he was frying had turned into black crisps and that smoke was rising rapidly from the pan. In a panic, the boy jerked his hand toward the knobs to turn off the stovetop and consequently burned his right hand on the hot pan. He yelped in pain and ran toward the sink to run cold water onto the burn.

Chan, who had witnessed the scene, hurriedly ran to their bedroom and returned with a first aid kit in hand.

“Hyung, give me your hand!”

“Ah, no, I’m fine. It didn’t get badly burned.”

“Let me see.”

“It’s fine, Chan. Don’t worry.”

“Please?”

Chan stared at his brother with concern written all over his face. Jihoon let out a sigh of defeat. Although the boy was usually ridiculously stubborn, he always found himself giving in to his endearing younger brother.

“Alright. But let me open the windows first to let the smoke out, okay?”

The younger nodded and let his brother open the windows. There were only the bedroom window and the sliding patio door so it only took a few seconds to do so. Jihoon returned to Chan, who had instructed him to sit on the couch. Chan took his brother’s hand delicately into his and brought his hand close to his face in order to examine the burn. It took form on the fleshy part of the palm his right hand, spanning about two inches in length. The skin turned red, but no blisters or bumps formed. Jihoon noticed Chan’s expression lighten up a little once he confirmed that the injury was indeed a minor one. Chan squirted a small bit of aloe vera gel onto a cotton swab and gently dabbed at the burn. He flickered his eyes from the burn to Jihoon’s face, handling the cotton swab even more gently every time he noticed Jihoon flinch.

“What were you even thinking about so deeply that you didn’t notice the food burning?” Chan asked.

Jihoon’s thoughts returned to the onyx eyes from earlier, their piercing glare, and to the boy who possessed them.

“There’s a guy in my music theory class who I have to work with for my midterm and I’m pretty sure he hates me already.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never talked to him before today.” Jihoon thought back about the comment the other made mentioning his sleeping habits in class. “Actually, he told me why, but I don’t know how it’s supposed to concern him.”

“What did he say?” Chan finished applying the gel and began comparing different band-aids to find one of the right size.

“I guess he wasn’t happy about working with someone who sleeps in class all–” Jihoon stopped himself, but much too late. He hadn’t mentioned to Chan about being too tired to focus in class because he knew his younger brother would worry. Jihoon was aware that the younger felt guilty about him having to support the both of them. Chan lowered his hands and looked at his brother.

“Are you doing okay in class?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” Jihoon looked at his own hands to avoid his brother’s sympathetic gaze.

Chan’s voice became soft. “You know…you don’t have to work so hard by yourself. I’m sixteen now so I can try to find a job, too. I wish you wouldn’t push yourself so much. Especially not for me.” He mumbled the last part, but Jihoon’s sharp ears caught the words.

Upon hearing that, Jihoon placed his hands on his brother’s shoulders and squared them with his.

“Hey, listen to me. Don’t you dare even think about getting a job. I’m doing just fine on my own so don’t worry about me. You just concentrate on school, okay? Let your hyung take care of the adult stuff.”

Chan seemed dissatisfied, but nodded in agreement nonetheless. Jihoon grinned and ruffled his brother’s hair with his uninjured hand. Chan returned to picking an appropriately-sized band-aid and stuck it on Jihoon’s hand. He then closed the first-aid kit and put it back in their bedroom before returning to sit at the dining table. His stomach growled violently.

“Well, now that the kimchi’s done for, what should we do about dinner?”

Just then, someone knocked on their door. Jihoon got up from the couch to answer the door. Seokmin stood on the other side of the doorframe with a small box of oranges in hand.

“Hey, so my parents have a huge orchard and they told me to give some fruit to my apartment neighbors so...” The boy crinkled his nose as the lingering smell of the burnt kimchi finally made its way out. Curious, he poked his head inside. “What _happened_ in there?”

“I…may have ruined my dinner,” Jihoon replied.

“Do you want to come over next door? I just ordered pizza a couple of minutes ago. You guys are welcome to come in and have some,” the kind boy offered.

“No thanks. We’ll manage.”

“Pizza?” Jihoon turned around and saw Chan’s eyes twinkling with hope. Jihoon’s stomach grumbled and he turned back to Seokmin sheepishly.

“Are you sure you don’t want some?” Seokmin offered again.

Without hesitation, Jihoon replied, “I owe you one.”

 

.......................................

 

“Seungcheol, is there something on your mind?”

“Huh?”

The boy blinked at his mother, who had been trying to converse with her son for two minutes only to realize that he wasn’t listening.

“Ah, no. It’s just that the oxtail soup you made was so delicious.”

His mother’s eyes lit up.

“You flatter me, son. Since you appreciate my cooking so much, I’ll clean up. You go ahead and study.”

“Yes, mother. Thank you for dinner.” Seungcheol rose from his seat and proceeded to make his way upstairs to his bedroom.

Once the boy made it to his room, he flopped onto his bed facedown. His mind drifted back to his partner. _Of all people…why did it have to be him?_ He flipped over to face the ceiling and dragged out a long sigh. He remembered the first day he set his eyes on him as clear as it was yesterday.

 

.......................................

 

.......................................

 

On the first of classes, Seungcheol noticed him. Actually, he was almost positive everyone else noticed him, too. That day, Jihoon had made a running entrance ten minutes into the class with luminescent white hair, wearing a white dress shirt with rolled up sleeves and dark jeans, gasping for breath.

He bowed. “S-sorry for disrupting,” he whispered, taking deep breaths between each word. The professor, unfazed, motioned with her hand for him to sit down without missing a beat in her explanation on the syllabus. Almost all of the students’ eyes followed the short boy’s trail as he took an empty seat near the wall, which happened to be the seat one up and to the left of Seungcheol. Not much later, the students lost interest in the boy and continued to focus on the professor in the front of the classroom.

Except for Seungcheol. He was still very much intrigued by the boy. While the rest of the class looked at the professor, Seungcheol looked at the boy. Sunlight streaming through the windows outlined his profile in gold and illuminated his milky skin. The boy’s hair glowed a mystical white. A gradient ran through his hair, with the ivory at the top of his head fading into ebony at the bottom. It was almost as if…as if…someone dropped a bag of flour on his head? Seungcheol blinked twice and leaned forward to get a closer look and discovered that the boy’s hair was, in fact, covered in flour. Some of the flour sprinkled off of his head and sat on the shoulders of his dress shirt, which was of the same color. Seungcheol figure that was the reason he didn’t notice the flour before. That, plus his contacts were starting to wear out from prolonged use. Once Seungcheol looked at the boy’s face again, he found that his face, as well as his arms, were layered with a light dusting of flour, as well. He laughed at himself for failing to realize the other boy’s strange state up until that point, being instead enchanted by it. A curious smile formed on his lips. _Maybe I’ll have to ask about his day after class_. Seungcheol, like the rest of his classmates, returned his attention to the front of the classroom for the rest of the period.

The professor dismissed the class a few minutes early. By the end of the class, Seungcheol was so absorbed by the professor that he forgot all about the boy who peaked his interest just a little over an hour ago. He quickly jotted down the rest of his notes to pack up and head home. Before transferring his last thought onto paper, he lifted his gaze from his notes and saw the teaching assistant walking over in his general direction. Seokmin stopped at the desk of the boy with flour in his hair, smiling.

“What a grand entrance this afternoon, Jihoon. What exactly _happened_ to you?”

_Jihoon. His name is Jihoon._

“One of the chefs at work tripped while holding a bowl of dry batter mix. Next thing you know, I’m covered in the stuff.” Jihoon let out a cough. “I was running late so I didn’t have time to wash it out or change out before class.”

Seungcheol no longer scrambled to write down his thoughts. Instead, he began rewriting the notes he took in order to look as if he still had a reason for still being in the classroom.

“What luck,” Seokmin commented. “I’ll put in a good word with the professor so she won’t hate you. Since you already started off on the wrong foot on the first day.”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to tell her anything.”

By now, Seungcheol, Seokmin, and Jihoon were the only ones remaining in the classroom. Jihoon slung his backpack over his shoulders and glanced at the last remaining student. Seungcheol continued to write without acknowledging him. Jihoon then left the classroom with Seokmin at his tail.

Once the two were gone, Seungcheol finally stopped writing and dropped his pen. He let out a tired sigh as he placed his forehead on his desk. His eyes closed and his lips curved into a smile.

“Are you actually smiling? That’s something you don’t see every day.” A deep voice resonated, followed by a soft chuckle.

“Shut up, Wonwoo.”

Seungcheol opened his eyes and looked up at his friend, who was wearing a gray sweater vest and cradling a messenger bag in his arms.

“Did something good happen today?”

“Not particularly. I just…found a really interesting person.” The smile returned to his lips.

“Well could you stop daydreaming about whoever this is and hurry up? I’ve been starving, and I heard there was this great new burger place that opened up near campus. You can talk about your interesting person there while we eat.”

“Yeah, sure thing.”

The interest that built up on the first day didn’t even last an entire week. The next day, Seungcheol noted that Jihoon came to class on time, _early_ even, and he commended the boy’s efforts to be a diligent student.

Except that he wasn’t. Just about when the lecture began, Seungcheol could see the boy nodding off in his peripheral vision. _Hmm, rough night? It’s only been the second day of class, though_. He returned his attention to the professor.

Only to be distracted by Jihoon’s head bobbing as the boy wavered between consciousness and unconsciousness. Every five minutes, the boy would awaken briefly before nodding off again. Occasionally the teaching assistant, who had wandered around the classroom to help the students in need, would tap the boy’s shoulders gently as he walked by. His efforts were in vain, as Jihoon would only stay awake for the few seconds after Seokmin woke him up. Seungcheol was slightly bothered by the distraction, but tried to be sympathetic.

By the end of the week, his sympathy was gone, replaced entirely by fury. Every day was the same. Jihoon came into class and knocked out within the first few minutes of class. At this point, it seemed as if Jihoon gave up trying to stay awake and settled for resting his head onto his folded arms on his desk. _At least he has the heart not to distract anyone else_ , Seungcheol thought. _But why is he even here if all he ever does is sleep?_ The lack of effort the shorter boy gave to do well in class astounded Seungcheol. He scoffed at himself.

_And to think I thought you were interesting._

 

.......................................

 

.......................................

 

There was a knock on his bedroom door, followed by his mother walking in with a mug of warm ginseng tea in her hands. Seungcheol sat up from his bed.

“I brought you some ginseng tea for energy.”

“Thank you.” He walked over to his upright piano and plopped down onto the bench. His mother placed the mug on his desk on the opposite side of the room.

“Work hard, Seungcheol. If you need anything, let me know.”

“I will. Thank you.”

His mother left and closed the door behind her.

Seungcheol opened the score on the music rack. His fingers hovered over the black and white keys in front of him, lining them up to the first chord on the page. A deep breath. Then, he pressed down on the keys gently, yet with firmness. His fingers danced elegantly over the piano, playfully flirting with the ivory keys. The piano responded to the gentle touch with an equally gentle melody. The notes escaping from the piano permeated through the air, enveloping the boy in the sorrowful tune he enticed from the instrument.

The music that Seungcheol played was, without a doubt, beautiful. It was graceful. Elegant. Perfection almost embodied by a melody.

The melody stopped abruptly and was immediately followed by a horrendously discordant sound from Seungcheol slamming both hands down roughly onto the keys.

_Why? What’s missing?_

Seungcheol stared at his hands, as if they would tell him what was wrong with his music. He knew something was missing for years, yet he never understood what it was. He had taken private piano lessons since the young age of four. By the time he turned seventeen, he had changed instructors five times, and they each told him the same thing. That his technique was almost perfect. That he played the music almost perfectly.

It was always _almost_ perfect.

 _Almost_.

They always said that something was missing. Each and every one of them. No matter how much he practiced, or what he changed, it was always the same thing missing.

Which meant that it wasn’t good enough.

Which meant that he had to practice more until he finally reached perfection. He pulled out his phone from his pocket to check the time. There were still two hours left before his private instructor would arrive. He slid the phone back into his pocket, and his fingers resumed dancing lifelessly with the cold ivory keys.

 

.......................................

 

_The next day_

A loud thud woke Jihoon from his drowsiness. His eyes flew open at the sudden sound and shaking of his desk, and he was met with a sight of Seungcheol in front of him, with the rest of the class staring at the two of them. Seungcheol had just slammed his books onto Jihoon’s desk. The older boy took a seat directly in front of Jihoon. Judging by the way the rest of his classmates were seated in pairs and that there were ten minutes left of class, Jihoon figured that the professor allotted the rest of the period for students to work on their projects. The boy let out a yawn and stretched out his limbs, ignoring Seungcheol rolling his eyes at him.

“Shall we start?” Jihoon asked.

“Yeah, let’s just get it over with.”

“So let’s see…” Jihoon mumbled as he skimmed through the project requirements sheet in his hands. “We have to arrange part of an existing song and create an accompaniment.” He skimmed some more before pointing out the last part. “We’re to perform the piece with each of us taking a turn with the melody and the accompaniment.”

“What do you play?”

“Huh?”

“What instrument do you play?”

“I don’t play any.”

Seungcheol stiffened.

“What…did you say?”

“I, uh, don’t have any instruments I can play.”

“Then why the _hell_ are you even in this class?” Confusion and anger flashed through Seungcheol’s face.

“That’s none of your concern,” Jihoon replied. “Anyways, I can’t play any instruments at the moment, so I’ll just sing my parts.”

Seungcheol gave Jihoon a look of pure doubt. He figured before that if he made the arrangement and accompaniment and had the other follow along, it would be just fine. Hearing that his partner had no musical instrument he could play, Seungcheol retracted his last thought. No matter how well the piece was rearranged, the outcome couldn’t be saved. Having no choice but to agree, he nodded, silently crying goodbye to his GPA in advanced.

“What about you? What’s your instrument?”

“Piano.”

Jihoon’s face lit up at the other’s response. He had been yearning to learn how to play the piano ever since he plunged into the world of music. Having no money left after paying for bills to purchase a keyboard (or time to practice for that matter), the boy gave up and set aside his longing to play and settled on taking a music theory class to learn about musicality in theory without practice. Jihoon wasn’t acquainted with anyone who knew how to play, but planned on asking someone to teach him some basics if he could ever find anyone. Of all people, of course it had to be Seungcheol who knew how to play. Jihoon decided he wasn’t desperate enough to ask his partner for lessons.

“So any idea what kind of song you’d like to arrange? Classical? Pop? Rock?” Jihoon threw out some suggestions.

“I think pop is our only viable option.” Seungcheol groaned. “Especially in your case.”

Jihoon nodded reluctantly. He was still very unfamiliar with too many musical genres, especially since he hadn’t exactly been awake to learn much from his class. To simplify the decision, he pulled out his phone and checked the last song he listened to.

“How about Guilty by Dynamic Duo?”

“Whatever. As long as you’re confident you can sing to it.”

“I don’t think we have time to start now, so do you want to meet tomorrow? It’s a Saturday so I should be open to meet all day.”

“Your call.”

Jihoon definitely wasn’t appreciating the lack of input from his partner.

“Fine. Six o’clock in the morning. At the café near the library.”

“SIX IN THE–”

Jihoon gave him a wide grin. “You said it was my call.”

Seungcheol wasn’t one to retract his words (though he desperately wanted to in this case), so he swallowed and gritted his teeth.

“Sure. Six in the morning it is.” He directed a fake smile toward the other.

“See you then.” Jihoon hopped away and left the classroom.

Seungcheol groaned and leaned his head back.

It was going to be a very long two weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long....I didn't mean to take over a week to update TT^TT. College life and real world responsibilities got in the way (bleh)
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was really hard for me to write this one. I know exactly how I want to characterize Seungcheol, but I don't exactly know how to write it well (hopefully I'll be able to once time comes for me to delve into more details).
> 
> There actually wasn't supposed to be this much JiCheol in this chapter, but I couldn't help myself (hehe). There's a lot more to come (but it might take a long time for me to write since I'm not actually that great of a writer).
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments~
> 
> Also please note that I've never taken any music theory classes so I have no idea how realistic or ridiculous anything I write about their class is. I'm just making it up as I go lol


	3. Guilty

“Wonwoo, stop laughing. It’s not funny.”

“It _is_ funny, and you know it.”

Seungcheol glared at his best friend, who had been laughing so hard that he nearly choked on his hamburger. The two of them were having a quick meal at a diner within walking distance from campus. Well, at least Wonwoo was. Seungcheol only tagged along to vent while Wonwoo ordered a hamburger with a large side of fries. Usually, Seungcheol would protest going to yet _another_ burger place – those were the only places Wonwoo ever suggested eating at – but he was too drained from the conversation that just took place between himself and Jihoon half an hour ago to complain.

Seungcheol took a fry from Wonwoo’s plate and shoved it into his own mouth, eliciting a cry from the other.

“If you’re going to steal my food, might as well just order something,” Wonwoo grumbled bitterly, pulling his plate closer to himself to defend his meal.

“I mean _really_ , what kind of crazy person decides to meet at six in the morning?” Seungcheol continued, ignoring Wonwoo’s complaint.

“Well, who was the crazy person who agreed?”

“I couldn’t just say _no_. He was obviously challenging me.”

“Sometimes, you’re too stubborn for your own good.” Wonwoo paused. “Actually, you’re _always_ too stubborn for your own good. You just got to let it go sometimes,” he finished as he plopped a French fry in his mouth.

“You know I can’t.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But you can at least _try_.”

“You can keep telling me to try, but it’s not as easy as you make it sound.”

Wonwoo sighed, knowing all too well that this was true. Having been friends with Seungcheol since middle school, he was familiar with his best friend’s demeanor.

“Maybe, I should just do the project by myself and not tell him.”

“Seungcheol!” Because Wonwoo couldn't reach Seungcheol, he sacrificed one of his fries to fling at the other’s face.

“Ouch! What?”

“Didn’t I _just_ tell you to stop being so stubborn?”

“But I can’t let him bring my GPA down,” Seungcheol retaliated. “Honestly, we would do so much better if I just did the whole project.”

“Don’t you think you’re underestimating him too much?”

“Nope. The kid can’t play any instrument. I wouldn’t be surprised if he couldn’t even read music, either.”

“But didn’t you say he would sing his part? You never know, he might just have the voice of an angel,” Wonwoo remarked.

“Yeah, _sure_.”

A silence fell between them as Wonwoo indulged in the remainder of his meal, trying to finish before it got cold. Seungcheol took the break in their conversation to pull out his phone and search up the song that Jihoon had previously suggested. _Dynamic Duo, huh? A rap song?_ The boy pulled out his headphones, untangled the cords, and popped one of the buds into his right ear. While listening to the musical elements, he also took note of the lyrics.

_I’m the guilty one, whenever our opinions differ._

_It’s all my fault, as if I’m a criminal._

_I take a step back and don’t say anything._

_To the perfect you, I’m always a lacking person._

“You know,” Wonwoo began as he finished chewing his last bite. “This is just my opinion, but maybe you shouldn’t criticize Jihoon so much.”

Seungcheol scoffed in response. Wonwoo wiped his side of the table clean with some napkins.

“No, I mean it. Maybe you should get to know him better. Don’t you think it’s unfair to hate him so much when you don’t even know why he sleeps in class all the time?”

“What if I don’t want to get to know him?”

Another sigh of frustration escaped Wonwoo’s lips. Yup. His best friend was way too stubborn for his own good. He looked him straight in the eyes to convey his sincerity.

“Seungcheol. Just…don’t be too harsh on him. I share a lot of my shifts at work with him, but I heard from another coworker that he also takes some late night shifts. You never know what he might be going through. At least try to be understanding.”

“Shouldn’t he be focused on school?” Seungcheol mumbled, his words too blurred and low for Wonwoo to understand. Wonwoo dismissed Seungcheol’s remark and ordered a chocolate milkshake.

Seungcheol didn’t want to admit that he might have been wrong for judging his partner, but his friend’s words did spark something in him. Guilt? Remorse? Seungcheol ignored the feeling and buried it deep in his chest. _Whatever, it doesn’t matter. He’s still going to ruin my GPA_.

 

No matter how hard he tried, Seungcheol couldn’t not obsess over his grades. Ever since he was a small child, Seungcheol had been obsessed with perfection. His parents had conditioned him that way, expecting only the best from their only child.

The first day Seungcheol came home with a test from first grade, marked with full points, his mother smiled at him with pride sparkling in her eyes. She held him in a warm embrace and told him that she was so proud of her brilliant son. That day, his family went out to eat at a nice traditional Korean restaurant, and his mother stopped by the store to treat him to a package of sweet rice cakes. 

The first day Seungcheol received a piano lesson from a private instructor when he was four, and the instructor praised him for being “naturally musically talented,” his mother beamed at her son, telling him that she was so proud of her talented son. She ordered dinner from Seungcheol’s favorite fried chicken restaurant and walked over to the bakery next door to buy him some sweet buns.

As a young child, for every time Seungcheol returned home from school with a perfect test in hand, or was praised by his piano instructor for his musical ability, his mother would routinely smile, embrace her son, and express how proud she was of him. Then his mother would take him (and his father if he was home) out to a nice restaurant, or she would order or cook whatever Seungcheol wanted at the moment. Seungcheol found this routine rewarding. When he did especially well in his studies or in piano, he would be showered with love and praise from his mother. When he was seven, he had experienced something he never wanted to again.

The first day Seungcheol came home in second grade, a test heavily marked with red in his hands, the boy received no special treatment. His mother gave him a cold look, remarking that she “didn’t think she raised such a worthless child.” Tears had formed in the shocked boy’s eyes, but his mother had already turned her back on her distraught son, unable to see them spilling over his cheeks. His father, who had been sitting at the table, stood up and walked over to the crying boy. He placed his hand on his shoulder, telling him that “maybe he should have tried a little harder,” before retiring to the master bedroom. That was the most that his father every spoken to him in one conversation. Seungcheol ran to his room, more upset than he ever had been in his life as far as he could remember. He was used to receiving warm love and praise from his mother, but to see this cold side of her shook him deeply. That night, she hadn’t even called him to join his parents for dinner. She simply stated that there was rice in the rice cooker if he got hungry. The boy was too upset to have an appetite, so he skipped out on eating entirely for the rest of the day. That was the last day Seungcheol ever came home with bad marks, and the last time he ever disappointed his parents for the next thirteen years.

 

Wonwoo slurped the last drops of his milkshake, disappointed that he had finished. Seungcheol could see by his expression that he was debating on ordering another shake, but after catching Seungcheol’s judging eyes, he sighed and waved the waitress down to receive his check. Just then, Wonwoo’s phone rang.

“Hello?” he answered. Seungcheol could hear an angry voice from the mobile device and he watched as Wonwoo’s eyes grow wide. “I’M SO SORRY, I COMPLETELY FORGOT. I’LL BE RIGHT THERE.” He slammed a few bills on the table and gathered his belongings.

“Sorry, Cheol. I have to run. I forgot I was taking over a coworker’s shift today. Good luck tomorrow with Jihoon!” With that, the boy hurried out of the restaurant, jumped onto his bicycle, and pedaled as fast as he could toward the convenience store.

 

.......................................

 

Jihoon scrubbed furiously at the stubborn spot of caramelized sugar that refused to come off of the plate. After a good two minute of scrubbing, the spot still remained intact, rendering the boy’s efforts useless.

“Well _fuck you, too_ ,” Jihoon spat at the spot, venting his frustrations out at the inanimate object.

“You…okay there?” His coworker, Jisoo, had come into the kitchen to dump a hefty stack of dishes into the sink next to him.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were there,” Jihoon apologized, knowing that the waiter wasn’t too fond of hearing people cuss.

“Ah…it’s…okay.” Jisoo struggled to dismiss Jihoon’s swearing. He hesitated before starting again. “Well, there must be something troubling you. Do you mind me asking?” he asked, his hands clasped in front of him. Although the two had been working together since Jihoon started the job, their friendship level still resembled that of acquaintances, mostly because Jihoon tended to keep his distance from others.

“Ah, no, I’m fine. Shouldn’t you go back out to the front, though?”

“It’s closing time. All of the customers are gone now.”

Jihoon turned looked above where the boy was standing to read the wall clock, which read 11:17pm. _Time sure flies by when you’re yelling at dishes_ , he thought. He looked at the new stack that Jisoo brought in and groaned.

An awkward silence fell between the two, Jihoon immersed in scrubbing away and Jisoo wondering if he should stay to help or leave and go home. Finally, Jisoo spoke up again.

“Um, do you want some help? It looks like there are a lot of dishes left tonight.”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

Jihoon expected the other to leave after he declined the offer, but he continued to stand there. A couple more seconds passed.

“Are you…sure you don’t need help? There were a lot of customers tonight.”

Just as Jihoon was about to decline, his mind reeled back to the reason he was irritated to begin with. In less than seven hours, he would have to be up and ready to meet his less than willing music theory partner to work on their project. He looked back at the pile of dishes, which stood at a daunting height.

“Actually, help sounds really great right now.”

Jisoo blinked, wondering if he misheard the shorter boy. Jihoon rarely accepted help, much less requested it. Jisoo put on an apron and stood to the left of the other. His washed the dishes at a much slower pace, being extra cautious not to chip any of the plates. Jihoon, having been the dishwasher for a few months and knowing how sturdy the plates were, practically threw them around as he cleaned them at a rapid speed.

The silence ensued, neither knowing how to strike a conversation with the other. Both knew very little about each other, besides the fact that they were both university students.

“So,” Jisoo started, unable to bear the awkward atmosphere for any longer, “how are your classes going?”

“Could be better, I guess. You?”

“I could say the same.” Jisoo took the curt response as Jihoon not wanting to expand. He thought about some other basic topics he could bring up.

“What’s your major?”

Jihoon stopped scrubbing his plate. Jisoo also stopped, curious as to why the other reacted at a simple question.

“I’m sorry. It’s okay if you don’t want to-”

“Economics.” Jihoon began scrubbing the dishes again, with a little more force than before. “What’s yours?”

“Music composition.”

Once more, the boy stopped scrubbing. When Jisoo turned to look at Jihoon he found the other boy staring at him with a glint in his eyes.

“Really?” Jihoon asked softly.

“Um, yeah. I really like songwriting and rearranging songs and stuff.” Jisoo laughed nervously, looking at the bowl in his hands. When he turned to look back at Jihoon, he found that the other had already gone back to washing his dishes, his stack almost gone.

“That’s nice,” he said, his voice still soft. He looked as if he had something he wanted to ask, but the question never came. He dried the last plate and tidied up the sink.

Jisoo wanted to ask Jihoon what was on his mind, but the boy was already rushing toward the exit in the back. The shorter turned around to face Jisoo.

“Um, it was nice talking to you, I guess,” he said. He pushed open the door and walked out, leaving Jisoo in the kitchen. Moments later, he came back in.

“Oh, and thanks for the help. I really appreciate it. Really.” With that, he took his final leave.

 “See you next week,” Jisoo said, though Jihoon had already left.

 

.......................................

 

Jihoon fumbled through his pockets to search for his apartment key. Once he found it, he drove it into the keyhole and pushed the door open. He could smell the aroma of caramelized onions and garlic in the air.

“Hyung!” Chan jumped from his spot by the stovetop and sprung into his brother’s arms, causing the elder to stumble a few steps.

“Missed me?” Jihoon laughed weakly, tired from lack of sleep from the entire week.

Chan nodded eagerly.

“You came just in time! I just finished making fried rice.”

“I wonder if it’s any good,” Jihoon teased.

“I only learn from the best,” Chan teased back.

“Thanks for making dinner tonight.” Jihoon patted his brother’s head, and he hummed in response.

Jihoon sat at the dining table and leaned back in his chair, head tilted back and eyes closed. When he heard Chan set a dish in front of him, he opened his eyes and sat upright, then frowned when he saw that there was only one plate on the table.

“Chan, are you not eating?”

“Hmm? Oh, my stomach started to hurt a while ago, so I might eat later.”

“Come here.”

The younger obeyed and stepped toward his brother. Jihoon placed his hand on his brother’s forehead. He furrowed his brows.

“You’re a little warm. Are you feeling okay? Do you have other symptoms?”

“My forehead is probably warm because I’ve been cooking in front of the stove, hyung. I feel fine. Just a stomachache,” he reassured.

“I’ll go get you some medicine after I finish eating.” Jihoon began shoveling rice down his throat.

“I’m okay, hyung. I think I’ll just go to bed earlier today.”

“Are you sure?” Jihoon’s words were barely comprehensible with all of the fried rice stuffed in his cheeks.

“Yeah. Besides, you should rest, too. You’ve had a long week.”

Jihoon swallowed before replying.

“Okay. If it gets worse, then let me know.”

“Okay.”

Chan hugged his brother good night and entered their bedroom. After the door shut, Jihoon finished his meal, grabbed his keys, and left the apartment as quietly as he could before walking toward the nearest convenience store to buy some medicine. He returned as quietly as he left and placed the stomach medicine on the counter before getting ready for bed.

 

.......................................

 

The alarm woke Jihoon up at 5:30 am. He had opted to sleep on the couch again, as not to needlessly wake his brother up so early on a weekend. He kept one eye closed as he tried to dismiss the alarm on his phone. Then he dragged his body to the bathroom to wash up and head out.

At six in the morning on a Saturday, the normally hectic streets of the city were much calmer. Jihoon burrowed his neck into his thin hoodie, the chill of the morning catching him off guard. A slight breeze picked up and he could feel himself starting to shiver. He picked up his pace and let out a sigh of relief once he entered the warm café. One of the workers greeted him in a dull voice. He could tell from her lifeless greeting that she was also barely awake. Although he usually didn’t drink coffee, he felt that maybe some caffeine in his system would keep him awake enough to function so early.

“Hi, um, what kind of drinks do you have?” He asked the girl at the counter, having never ordered coffee from a café before.

“You could look at the menu behind me. We have a lot of options available.” The girl tried her best to keep a smile on her face, but her voice gave away her irritated mood.

“Um, okay. I’ll have a…café macchiato.”

“Will that be all for you today?”

“Yeah. Or actually, make that two.”

Although Seungcheol had agreed to meeting so early, Jihoon felt guilty for suggesting it. He figured he wouldn’t be the only one needing caffeine, so he thought he would buy a drink for his partner as an apology, and to possibly start over and work together on good – or at least neutral – terms.

The boy chose to sit at a table near the window of the nearly empty café. He could already feel his drowsiness kicking in once he stopped moving. He shook his head and brought his hands to his cheeks. His icy hands temporarily jolted the boy awake. Thankfully, the macchiato arrived not much later, and Jihoon eagerly sipped the drink, forgetting that the newly-brewed liquid would be extremely hot. He nearly dropped his mug, and some of the contents spilled over the edge and onto the table. Jihoon reached for the napkins on the table when his hand bumped into someone else’s. He looked up to see Seungcheol, his tiredness evident from the dark circles under his eyes.

“Making messes early in the morning, are we?”

Jihoon ignored the comment and mopped up his mess with Seungcheol’s (unrequested) help. Once the mess was cleaned up, the two settled down in their seats.

“I, uh, got you some coffee in case you might need the caffeine. Since it was my decision to work at six and all.”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” Seungcheol rummaged through his backpack until he found what he was looking for and pulled out a few sheets of music. He pushed a few of them toward Jihoon. “Here’s a piano sheet music I found of the track you selected. We can work with this as our base.”

“Thanks,” Jihoon muttered without really looking at the page.

“So since this is a rap song, we’re free to make the melody of the verses as long as it fits with the mood. I was thinking for the beginning, we could alter the rhythm a little but keep the feeling of the beat.” He stifled a yawn and began scribbling some annotations onto his own copy of the music. “And as for the melody, we could do…something like this?”

When he didn’t hear a timely response, he lifted his eyes and watched Jihoon’s eyebrows furrow as the boy tried to decipher what was just written down.

“…well?”

“Hold on, give me a second,” Jihoon carefully scanned the markings on the page.

“This shouldn’t be that hard to read. It’s elementary stuff.”

Jihoon was too focused on the page to register Seungcheol’s implications.

“I guess since you’ve been sleeping through class, you wouldn’t know any of the basics, though,” he accused sharply.

Jihoon still didn’t respond. He had been busy transferring Seungcheol’s markings onto his own page with annotations that Seungcheol had never seen before.

“It’s not a bad idea,” Jihoon finally replied. “But this might be easier for the audience to understand, don’t you think?” He marked his page and then drew scribbles in the air with his pencil before setting the point down and writing onto Seungcheol’s sheet in familiar annotations.

Seungcheol read his sheet and frowned. The suggestion his partner made was…good. Brilliant, even. It flowed perfectly with the mood of the song, and the melody had its own distinctive style, while keeping the intention of the part true to the original.

“Yeah. This…isn’t too bad.” Seungcheol eyed at Jihoon’s sheet. “But what have you been writing on your music?”

“It’s my own musical annotation. I didn’t know what proper musical annotation was before, so I kind of just made my own.”

Was this kid actually a genius? Or was he merely too dumb to learn the proper way of marking music?

“Well anyways, since it makes more sense to do it this way, I’ll play the melody for the rap parts on the piano and you can sing the chorus parts.”

Surprisingly, the two worked together smoothly for the next two hours. No one would have suspected that they had clashed so much before by looking at them. For a project that should have took several hours, the two finished rather quickly, both having an innate musical sense. Even with Jihoon translating between musical annotations, the project didn’t take long for them to finish. Seungcheol thought back to his conversation with Wonwoo yesterday, and that feeling from before rekindled in his chest.

While Jihoon worked on translating the last part of the song onto his music sheet, Seungcheol lost himself in deep thought. He was quite perplexed with himself and with his partner. Initially, he did despise him. Before, Jihoon was just a boy who used class as naptime, who didn’t put in any effort to better himself, who wasted time like he had all the time in the world. But now? A boy who, despite putting little effort in class, had been bouncing back and forth between ingenious musical ideas that rivaled – exceeded even – those that Seungcheol had come up with.

The feeling gnawed inside of his chest again. What was it?

_Maybe you shouldn’t criticize Jihoon so much._

Seungcheol bit his lip.

_Don’t you think it’s unfair to hate him so much when you don’t even know why he sleeps in class all the time?_

He looked over at his partner, who had just finished writing.

_Maybe you should get to know him better._

Maybe Wonwoo was right this time. Like he usually was.

“Uh...”

Jihoon looked up at the other.

“Um...” Seungcheol didn’t know where to start.

“What…um…how…”

“What?”

“What’s your major?” Seungcheol blurted out mindlessly, asking the question he defaulted to when he didn’t know someone well.

Jihoon, who had expected a comment about his music, stared at him for a few seconds.

“Economics.”

“Oh, really?” Seungcheol honestly didn’t know what to expect as an answer. “Do you have a minor?”

“No.”

“What are you taking a music class for?”

Jihoon paused before answering. “Just because.” He stuffed his music sheets in his backpack and pulled out his headphones and phone. “We should probably meet up sometime to practice together. I’m free tomorrow and the next weekend.”

“I can do tomorrow.” Seungcheol stuck his hand out toward the other. “I’ll give you my number so we could decide when and where later.”

The shorter boy handed his phone over and Seungcheol navigated to the contacts list. He noticed that once he added himself to the contacts list, there were only three other entries listed. Once he texted himself through Jihoon’s phone, he handed the device back. Jihoon accepted it and plugged his headphones into his phone.

The two exited the café. The temperature had become slightly warmer, and the campus bustled with students.

“See you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah.”

Jihoon turned to head toward the bus stop, which was only a few hundred meters away.

“Um...”

He turned back around to face Seungcheol, who kept his head down and shuffled his feet.

“About before. Sorry.” Seungcheol rubbed the back of his neck and wandered his eyes around, still avoiding the other’s gaze. “I was really rude to you before so…um…sorry.” He struggled to deliver his apology, his stubbornness and hate for being wrong fighting him.

He finally looked Jihoon in the face and was met with startled eyes. Jihoon was completely taken aback, not expecting an apology from the other. He wondered what had changed for him to apologize, but decided not to question it. He nodded, turned back around, and continued walking.

“Do you want me to drop you off? I can drive you to your place if you want. As a way to make it up to you.”

Jihoon waved him off, still faced toward the bus stop.

“Thanks, but I’m okay,” he said over his shoulder.

Seungcheol turned and walked the opposite direction toward the parking garage. Between his conversation with Wonwoo the day before and his interactions with Jihoon for the past few hours, something changed in him. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but something was definitely different. He didn’t despise the boy anymore, but he couldn't put a finger on it. Like before, he chose to bury the unknown feeling to deal with at another time.

 

.......................................

 

“Chan?”

The apartment felt quiet. When Jihoon came back, Chan would usually greet him with a hug, but he was nowhere in sight. Jihoon looked at the shoe rack and noticed that Chan’s shoes were still there. He walked into the bedroom to find Chan still under the covers in bed, laying on his side.

“Chan?”

“Hmm?”

“You okay?” Jihoon sat on the edge of Chan’s twin bed.

 “Just a little nauseous.”

“Stomach still hurt?”

“Mm.”

 “Did you take the medicine on the counter?”

“No…”

“Hold on, I’ll go get it.”

Just as Jihoon sat up, Chan grabbed the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Wait,” he breathed weakly. “Trash bin.”

“Huh?”

“Trash-” Chan reflexively clamped his mouth shut with his hand. The message clicked in Jihoon and he scrambled to fetch the trash bin under his desk. He held the bin under Chan’s head as the boy’s stomach emptied the little content that it had. Jihoon once again pressed his hand against his brother’s forehead and swore under his breath when he felt how hot it was.

“It hurts,” Chan cried feebly, clutching his stomach with both arms.

“Stay here, okay? I’ll go get help.” At this point, Jihoon began to panic. Chan rarely admitted to pain. No matter the severity of the pain, he would usually endure it so that his older brother wouldn’t worry. Even when he broke his wrist, the boy said he was fine, and the only reason Jihoon found out was because he noticed that Chan stopped using his left arm entirely one day.

Jihoon ran out of his apartment and began banging his fist against Seokmin’s door a few units down.

“SEOKMIN!”

No answer.

_GODDAMN IT._

He rushed back into the apartment to find that Chan had migrated into the bathroom to vomit some more. Jihoon’s head began to spin as his thoughts raced across his mind. The nearest emergency room was 20 minutes away by bus. The next bus was scheduled to come in about seven minutes. He couldn’t ask Seokmin to drive him and Chan because he wasn’t there.

_Wait._

There was another option.

Jihoon whipped out his phone and found his nearly empty contacts list.

_Please._

He brought his phone up to his ear and waited for the receiver to pick up.

_Come on._

“Hello?” A familiar voice answered.

“Seungcheol? Please help me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super long note  
> Welp I ignored all my responsibilities writing this chapter. I was only supposed to spend a day and yet here we are, a day and a half later, with all of my homework still left TT^TT.
> 
> So did you all listen to the beautiful duo on Starry Night? If you hadn't guessed already, that's where the song suggestion came from last chapter (too many feels evoked from that performance, and the one from their predebut days TT^TT).
> 
> So this chapter was a little longer than the other ones so far (to make up for not updating). And Jisoo made a surprise appearance. He literally had no part in this fic but then he fit perfectly so I guess he's in it now XD. The plot keeps making sharp turns so a lot of what I planned doesn't actually happen and scenes like the dishwashing scene get added (I swear there's no consistency at all in my thought process). In reality, the tension between Seungcheol and Jihoon was meant to last longer but I felt like I might be dragging it on too long (though it's only been three days so I'm also worried that I might be rushing it....). I'm slightly worried about the end product...ahahaha. At this rate I'll have written an entirely different story.
> 
> But sorry for the disappointing JiCheol scene...I feel like out of all the scenes, that one was the weakest, despite this being a JiCheol fic *sighs*. I'll try to do better next time. Hopefully it should pick up by next chapter.
> 
> Also if you haven't noticed (you probably might have already), I haven't been mentioning their ages or heights, but I've been writing that "the shorter did this" or "the older did that." I have no idea how to add their ages or height without it being forced so I'm assuming that you guys already know. If there comes a spot where I can add info, I will, but please dismiss the fact that I haven't properly addressed any of these.
> 
> Sorry it took a while. I literally had no idea how to start this chapter. I have loads of scenes in mind for the future but I just couldn't piece this one together well so sorry if it's all over the place. I feel like the pace is really slow but then it's rushed at the same time (idk if it's just me or not). I also can't tell if my writing is degrading or not...the quality doesn't seem to be on par with the other two chapters. This one was mostly dialogue. I'm not sure if you guys like the explanations more or the dialogue more but I'll try to improve in the future. Let me know what you think!


	4. Curiosity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it probably wasn't the greatest idea to start this fic without a real plan. But I did. So the characters (at least Seungcheol) go through a slight (or maybe a little more than a slight) change. I hope you don't mind (or notice too much)

Through this rearview mirror, Seungcheol could see Jihoon sitting in the back of his car with his brother laying on his side, his head resting on his older brother’s lap. Jihoon squeezed his brother’s arm reassuringly. Whether the action was meant to reassure his brother or Jihoon himself, Seungcheol wasn’t entirely sure of. He could barely hear Jihoon’s soft whispers over the humming of the engine.

“We’re almost there, Chan. We’re almost there.”

Seungcheol directed his attention to the streets again and realized that the traffic light had already turned yellow. Immediately, he slammed his foot on the brakes, causing the three to lurch forward. He glanced at his rearview mirror again and noticed that the younger brother’s eyes shut tight and his legs pulled closer to his chest. Jihoon shot a menacing glare at Seungcheol through the mirror.

“Sorry…”

“Just…hurry up please.” The urgency in Jihoon’s voice didn’t go unnoticed.

After the seemingly long car ride (which in reality only took about seven minutes), they had arrived at the nearest hospital. Jihoon carefully lifted his brother’s head from his lap, scooted out of the car, and came back around the other side to help his brother out. Chan sat up from his previous position and, holding Jihoon’s outstretched hand, pulled himself out of the car. The boy struggled to take normal-paced steps, with the pain limiting his movements. Jihoon began to loop his brother’s arm around his neck when Seungcheol stepped in between him. Both brothers gave him confused looks, which quickly turned to that of surprise when Seungcheol swept Chan off his feet to carry him in his arms.

“W-what…wait, wait, wait…I-I'm okay-” Chan squirmed.

 “Let’s go,” Seungcheol directed toward Jihoon, whose mouth dropped open from surprise.

“Y-yeah,” he replied.

Despite rushing to the urgent care room, the three were kept waiting for much longer than they had expected to. During that time, Chan seemed to experience waves of pain. He appeared to do well for around ten minutes at a time, but he would suddenly grip his armrests and grit his teeth. In those moments, Jihoon would stop giving death glares at every passing hospital worker for _still_ not calling them up, and place his hand on top of Chan’s, as if he wanted to absorb some of his brother’s pain so he wouldn’t have to suffer so much.

Meanwhile, Seungcheol remained silent, unsure of what to do. He considered his possibilities. He could have consoled the two brothers and tell them that everything would work out. But he didn’t actually know if the younger brother would be all right. He could leave, seeing how it might be rude to stay when it wasn’t his business to do so. Then again, he was genuinely worried about Jihoon’s brother and wanted to know if he would be okay. But at the same time, he felt like he wasn’t close enough to Jihoon to stay and accompany him. He fidgeted in his seat next to Jihoon, one leg bouncing in anxiety.

“You can leave if you want to.”

“Huh?” Seungcheol was so lost in thought that he missed what Jihoon had just said.

“I’ve already asked for a lot from you. You don’t have to stay.” Jihoon spoke facing forward, looking at nothing in particular.

“No, I want to-”

Jihoon directed his gaze to the older, displaying a look of confusion.

“I mean, I don’t mind staying. You need a ride back, anyways, right? Or, unless you want me to go. Then I’ll just come back if you need a ride. Or if you don’t want me to-”

“Seungcheol.”

“I can-huh?”

“Thank you.” He forced a small smile. “I appreciate your concern, but we’ll be okay.”

“Mr. Lee Chan?” A nurse holding a clipboard called out toward the waiting patients.

Chan and Jihoon stood from their seats. As Jihoon started to head toward the direction of the nurse, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He twisted around to see what Seungcheol wanted from him. He was met with reassuring eyes.

“He’ll be okay.”

As empty as they were, Jihoon didn’t realize until he heard them that he needed the words of comfort. His expression softened and he returned a look of appreciation.

“Thank you.”

“Oh, and let’s not meet up to practice tomorrow. Be sure to take care of your brother.”

With a nod, Jihoon turned back around and joined his brother to follow the nurse. Seungcheol watched the two disappear into a room, Jihoon supporting the weight of his brother as they walked. Even after they disappeared from his sight, Seungcheol stayed rooted at his spot.

Seeing Jihoon outside of class like this had given Seungcheol a new perspective of him. Although he didn’t want to admit it, maybe he was wrong to judge the other without knowing anything beyond the Jihoon that he saw in class. Maybe Jihoon did put in an effort, just not in the same ways as Seungcheol did. The way that he cared for his brother, comforting him and rushing him to the hospital, pulled at Seungcheol’s heart. That kind of care was something he was unfamiliar with. Looking at how Jihoon cherished his brother made Seungcheol long for that kind of affection from someone, his mother, his father, maybe even his friends, _anyone_.

The feeling from before rekindled in his chest. Wonwoo's words once again echoed in his mind.

_Maybe you should get to know him better._

_Yeah. Maybe I will._

 

.......................................

 

“App-a what?”

“Appendicitis.”

Jihoon and Chan exchanged glances. Chan was sitting on exam table while Jihoon sat in one of the seats in the examination room. The doctor lifted his eyes from Chan’s patient file. Jihoon cocked his head in an attempt to read the chicken scratches at a better angle, but he still couldn’t decipher the words written down.

“And what does that mean, exactly?” The older asked.

“There is an inflammation in your brother’s appendix. It looks like it hasn’t burst yet, but we will need to undergo surgery and remove it before that happens.”

At the mention of surgery, Jihoon’s jaw hardened. If Chan needed surgery, that meant money. Money that they didn’t have.

Chan violently shook his head, then stopped when he realized it hurt his stomach to do so. “I don’t need surgery. I’ll just wait for it to pass.”

The doctor sighed. “I’m afraid it’s not a choice. It can be fatal to let it continue as it is.”

“He’ll go through the surgery,” Jihoon quickly asserted. “Please operate on him as soon as you can.”

The doctor picked up his notes and rose from his chair. He faced Chan to address him.

“We’ll be ready to perform the surgery in three hours. You must fast, so don’t eat or drink anything. The nurse will give you some paperwork to sign. Make sure you read it carefully and give it back to her. If you have any questions, you can ask her for more information.”

Chan nodded slowly as he was given instructions by the doctor. Once the doctor finished explaining the details, he left, and the nurse from before returned with paperwork.

“Since you’re still under 19, you need to have your parent or guardian sign these for you. Is your mother or father around?”

“They’re dead. I’m his guardian,” Jihoon replied harshly. “I’ll sign the papers.”

He ignored the look of bewilderment that his brother shot at him.

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Then I’ll return to fetch the papers after you read and sign them. Let me know if you have any questions.” The nurse exited the room.

“Hyung…about Dad…is he really…” Chan’s eyes welled up as he bit his lip and looked down, staring at his feet dangling off the examination table.

“I don’t know what really happened,” Jihoon sighed. “But it doesn’t really matter, anyways. He’s as good as dead to me.”

“Sorry for bringing it up…”

“Don’t worry about it. We don’t need him.” Taking a pen and twirling it between his slender fingers, Jihoon flipped to the last page of the document and signed it. “Are you gonna be okay, though?”

“H-huh?”

“The surgery. It’s your first time.”

“Oh. Y-yeah,” Chan squeaked. The boy’s lip began to quiver, and his breathing sped up slightly.

With that, the elder lifted himself from his seat and stepped to where his brother sat on the table. Chan was at a height too tall for Jihoon to take him into his arms. Instead, he placed his hand on his thigh and held eye contact with him.

“You’ll be okay.” He echoed the words he was told earlier in hopes of calming his brother (and himself).

Chan’s voice lowered to a whisper. “How are we gonna pay for it?”

Jihoon’s heart sank. Was that what his brother was worried about? Not about the surgery itself, but the _cost_ of the surgery?

“I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry.”

Chan didn’t respond. Before Jihoon could lecture his brother about not needing to worry about money, the nurse came back to collect the paperwork. After Jihoon gave her the signed documents, they were led to a room, where they waited until it was time for Chan’s surgery.

 

.......................................

 

“Sir, would you like another café macchiato?” The waitress smiled warmly at the boy sitting faced out the café window.

“Ah, no thank you.”

“Are you sure? It’s on the house.” The girl directed a charming wink at him as she leaned in a little too close for comfort.

“Thanks, but I’m okay.”

The waitress, visibly disappointed, said no more and returned to wiping empty tables.

A good twenty minutes had already passed and the boy was still gazing out the window, lost in thought. The café was almost directly across the street from the hospital, and Seungcheol had decided to stop by to, well, wait. He didn’t know why it seemed like a good idea at the time to wait just in case Jihoon had changed his mind and called, but he was here now, still waiting. He called Wonwoo to see if his best friend would keep him company for a while, but apparently he couldn’t move from his desk until he finished his ten-page paper due at midnight, and Seungcheol reprimanded him for not starting it earlier.

Sighing, the boy propped his elbows onto the table and rested his head onto his folded hands. A few seconds later, he decided he should make better use of his time and pulled out the music sheet that he and Jihoon worked on that morning. He read over the music once. Then twice. Then again. Having been trained on piano for so long, he had developed perfect pitch, and translating the notes on unfamiliar music sheets into music he could hear in his head had become a mundane task. The alterations that Jihoon had written in couldn’t have been thought up by an amateur. That level of musicality was something obtained after years upon years of musical experience.

 _He’s really something else, that kid_.

Seungcheol still had trouble comprehending his partner’s ability. Clearly, Jihoon had no formal training. No one would just come up with their own way of writing music the way he did. He had created a written language of his own in order to be able to take part in the world of music. For him to still rely on his personal annotations, rather than with correct musical symbols, Seungcheol figured that it hasn’t been that long since Jihoon had started learning proper annotations. To formulate such innovative musical ideas with very little knowledge of music wasn’t something that just anyone could accomplish.

_Is this kid a genius or something?_

Returning his attention back to the actual music marked on the page, Seungcheol started to practice. He hovered his hands over the table, an imaginary piano laid out in front of him. With a deep breath, he began to move his fingers up and down the length of the table, the notes flowing out of the nonexistent piano only for his own ears to hear.

 

.......................................

 

The first sense that came back to Chan was his hearing. He could hear the regular pulsing of the heart rate monitor, the muffled howling of the air blowing from the air ducts, and the gentle breathing of someone sleeping beside him. Soon after, his sense of feeling returned to him. An intense aching pain radiated from the lower right part of his abdomen, probably where the doctors cut him open to perform the surgery. A wave of nausea hit him, most likely a side effect from the anesthesia. He could feel a hand wrapped around his, and without opening his eyes, he knew from its familiar warmth that it belonged to his brother. The temperature of the room was set at an uncomfortably cool setting, and the hair on his arms bristled in response.

The boy finally opened his eyes, and at first, he was blinded by the strong white lights overhead. Once his eyes adjusted, he slowly looked over to the side to see his brother sleeping. The boy was seated in a chair, but while nodding off, his head eventually found its way to Chan’s bed. Chan smiled half-heartedly at the sight, glad that he was lucky to have such a caring brother, but distraught that he had to burden someone with so much potential.

A tear streaked down his face, and Chan was glad that his brother wasn’t awake to see it.

But someone else was.

The boy in the next bed over locked eyes with him. Chan quickly wiped the tear away with his free hand, and the sudden action caused him to be a little disoriented, probably another side effect of the anesthesia. Not much later, the other boy slid out of his bed and trudged his way to the other side of Chan’s bed, opposite from Jihoon. He leaned toward Chan’s face until there were a few inches between the two of them. Chan was startled by how the stranger could leave such a tiny distance between them. The boy pulled his face back to a more reasonable distance and tilted his head.

“So I wasn’t seeing things. You were crying, right?” He whispered gently as not to wake Jihoon up.

It took a few seconds for Chan to process what he just heard. “Yeah, I guess. Why?”

The boy tilted his head the other way, lifting one eyebrow in confusion.

“How should I know? Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

“Huh?” Chan was perplexed by this strange character.

“Why were you crying?” The boy plopped onto the edge of Chan’s bed and leaned in a little, eyes full of innocent curiosity.

Chan’s eyes traveled down to the figure of his resting brother. The other boy followed his gaze. Chan returned his attention to the boy, but kept silent. The other boy nodded in understanding.

“Hm. I still want to know, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it.”

The boy turned his attention to the patterns woven into the fabric of Chan’s blankets. His fingers traced the lines of the patterns and he softly hummed a tune to himself. At this moment, Chan finally took in the stranger’s appearance. The boy had a very Caucasian appearance, with deeper inset eyes and a tall nose bridge, yet certain distinctly Korean features couldn’t be missed, like his lips which were not quite full, but not quite thin. Soft brown locks cascaded over his light-toned face, complementing the tone of his chestnut brown eyes. His lashes were thick and long, enough for girls to be jealous of. His fingers, still tracing over the patterns, were slightly on the bonier side.

“What’s your name?”

“Me? I’m…” The boy paused for a considerable length of time. “If I tell you, will you tell me why you were crying?”

Chan was surprised by the request. He opened his mouth to decline, but then an idea popped up in his mind.

“Sure, I’ll tell you.”

The boy smiled. “I’m Hansol. What’s your name?”

Although he wasn’t exactly expecting a Korean name, Chan wasn’t surprised that the boy’s name was in Korean, either. His fluidity in the language was enough for Chan to realize that he had spent a good amount of time in the country, if he wasn’t a native.

“If I tell you, will you take back your request?” The words came out sluggishly. Chan tried to make sure his speech was properly enunciated, but he still felt quite disoriented from the anesthesia.

This time, it was Hansol’s turn to be surprised. After a moment, he giggled softly.

“Okay, I’ll do that.”

“Okay. I’m Chan.”

“Chan? That’s a nice name.” Hansol flashed a gummy smile.

“Are you okay with me not telling you?”

Hansol looked up at the ceiling while he pondered over his thoughts.

“I still really want to know. But if you won’t tell me, I can’t force it out of you.”

Chan nodded slowly, unsure of what to think of the other. He was – to say the least – quite unusual.

“So Chan, what brings you here to the hospital?”

“Stomachache. Well, appendicitis. So now I’ll be here for a few days…or weeks. I’m not sure yet.”

“That’s great!”

“…huh?”

“I mean, not great. I mean, well, it’s too bad that you have to stay in the hospital. But that means I get to be your roommate for a few days.” Hansol smiled, and Chan wondered what the other was so happy about. With a yawn, Hansol slid off Chan’s bed and returned to his own. Once he crawled on, he wrapped himself in the thin blankets and lied down. He gave Chan one last smile before he turned to face the other direction. A few minutes later Chan could hear Hansol’s breathing become deeper, indicating that the boy must have fallen asleep.

Meanwhile, Chan noticed Jihoon stir the corner of his vision. The older boy hoisted his body to sit up, eyes still shut. He lazily smacked his mouth a few times before reluctantly opening his eyes. Once he noticed that Chan was awake, his drowsiness vanished.

“You should have woken me up if you woke up,” he yawned.

Chan squeezed his brother’s hand. “You needed the sleep, though.”

“I’m fine,” Jihoon lied.

At that, Chan clenched his jaw and sighed. He was upset that Jihoon was _still_ unwilling to show his fatigue to Chan. Jihoon ignored his brother’s agony towards him, as always. The only time Jihoon never tried to comfort his younger brother was when he was upset about Jihoon’s tendency to handle everything by himself and leave Chan out of it. He thought that his brother didn’t need to suffer, and that it would be better if he could take on both their burdens.

 “How are you feeling?” the older asked.

“Could be better, I guess.”

“Obviously. You just had surgery, idiot.”

The comment elicited a weak chuckle from Chan. Jihoon noticed his brother wince slightly. Maybe making him laugh wasn’t the best thing to do when he just came out of the operating room. He watched as Chan shifted uncomfortably.

“Do you want me to call a nurse to give you pain meds?”

Chan paused for a few seconds before nodding his head. In response, Jihoon hit a small button on the wall. Someone answered through the intercom, and he requested for someone to bring in pain meds. A few minutes later, a nurse came in with a syringe and a clipboard. He checked Chan’s vitals and once he confirmed that they were at healthy levels, he injected a dosage of the pain medication and left.

“You’ll probably start to feel sleepy in a few minutes,” Jihoon warned.

Chan nodded in response.

“They said the surgery went well and you’ll need to stay in the hospital for a few days.”

With that, Chan let out a groan. “I have a skit I have to finish with Seungkwan this week too…”

“You could ask him to come over to the hospital. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

“Yeah, but I would feel bad. He lives pretty far away.”

“Well I don’t think _you’re_ in any shape to go anywhere.”

“…I guess.”

Chan let out a loud yawn, and his eyes started to droop.

“Tired?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Sleep. I’ll go back to the apartment to get somethings and then I’ll come back.”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to stay here with me. Go home and some rest.”

Jihoon stood up and gently pet Chan’s head, not wanting to be too rough. “Why would I spend my whole day Sunday all alone when I could be here with you? Silly.” He grinned. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”

Jihoon watched as Chan nodded and closed his eyes. He pulled the blanket up to cover his brother up to his shoulders. Before leaving the room, he looked over his shoulder toward his brother one last time before directing himself out of the the hospital.

 

.......................................

 

Seungcheol tipped his mug to get to the last drop of hot chocolate before setting it down onto the saucer with a clank. He checked his surroundings to see if any of the staff or customers were bothered by the noise, but no one paid him any attention. He turned back around to face his laptop and continue where he left off in his online calculus homework. The glasses with thin wire framing sitting on his nose slid down a little and he pushed it back up with his middle finger.

“Why do I even need to take this class?” he mumbled, bitter that the university required so many general education classes in order for students to graduate. He didn’t see the point of them. What’s the point of being a “well-rounded graduate" if he’ll never touch derivatives again once he passes the class? He stared at the problem that taunted him for the past twenty minutes. “If this isn’t the right answer, then what the hell is?” He let out another frustrated sigh.

Once more, Seungcheol walked up to the counter of the café to order another drink. He figured he would probably regret ordering so many drinks later, but for now, he would feel worse if he just sat at a table without ordering anything. Earlier, after he stopped by the café the first time, he stayed for a little over thirty minutes. He went back home, but then decided to return soon afterwards, and did so with his textbooks and laptop so he could get ahead on schoolwork. It didn’t make sense to him, but he just felt the need to know more about Jihoon, to understand him. Why he decided that stalking the boy outside of a hospital at a nearby café was the best way to do it, he wasn’t quite sure of, either.

“Can I have another small hot chocolate with whipped cream?”

“You must really like hot chocolate, huh?” the girl at the register asked.

“Um, sure.” He chuckled nervously. After the third cup of coffee, he figured that was more than enough caffeine in his system for a day and settled on ordering the one thing on the menu with no caffeine in it.

“That’ll be $2.64, please.”

Seungcheol dug into his pocket to pull out his wallet. His eyes wandered toward the glass windows and he spotted a familiar figure walking toward the bus stop from the hospital.

“Wait, could you actually make that to go?”

Before the cashier could respond, he practically flew back to his table to pack his belongings. Because of all of his math calculations strewn across the surface of the table, it took a little longer for him to tidy up. He ran back to the counter and found a paper cup of hot chocolate waiting for him. He took out his wallet again and blindly pulled out a ten dollar bill. He slammed the money onto the counter, grabbed the cup, and hurried out.

“Keep the change!” he yelled over his shoulder.

Fortunately, the figure was still at the bus stop by the time Seungcheol reached him.

“H-hey,” he panted.

“Seungcheol? What are you doing here?” Jihoon looked surprised to see Seungcheol.

“I…was…fell…sleep…here…”

Jihoon still looked perplexed, though Seungcheol didn’t blame him. Seungcheol caught his breath before continuing.

“I, uh, fell asleep in the café right over there,” he lied as he pointed at the general direction of the café, “and I ended up waking up not too long ago.”

“Hmm.” Jihoon eyed Seungcheol’s backpack suspiciously, not remembering if he had it before or not, but decided not to question it.

“You…uh...want some hot chocolate?” Seungcheol raised the cup toward Jihoon.

“No thanks. I’m good.”

“No… _please_ take it.” Seungcheol practically begged, not feeling it in him to drink his seventh cup.

Jihoon noticed a pained expression on the other’s face and hesitantly took the cup.

“But since I’m here, do you want me to take you back to your apartment?” Seungcheol asked.

“No thanks, I’m good.”

“Is that _all_ you ever say?”

“I just don’t like asking for help.”

“Really? But what about-”

“This morning was different.”

Jihoon looked at the cup he was now holding with two hands. The steam was clearly visible in the cool night air. Seungcheol paused before continuing.

“Well it’s not bad to accept help once in a while, you know.”

“I can take care of myself.”

In a move that surprised both of them, Seungcheol grabbed one of Jihoon’s wrists and tugged him toward the direction of his car, almost causing Jihoon to drop the hot chocolate.

“Hey!”

“I’m already here. Just let me drive you. It’ll be faster than waiting for the bus, anyways.”

Jihoon tried resisting, but then gave up once he realized that the other was too strong for him. About halfway to the car, Seungcheol realized that he was still holding onto the other boy’s wrist and abruptly let go.

“Sorry.”

“Mm.”

Once the two got into the car, a heavy silence accompanied them on the way to the apartment. Seungcheol didn’t know if Jihoon was angry at him for forcing him to ride inside of his car, but he decided to focus on driving. There was a lot more traffic heading back to the apartment complex than going to the hospital because it was rush hour. Seungcheol decided to try and dissipate the awkward silence.

“How’s your brother doing?”

Only silence answered back. Was Jihoon still mad? Or…

“…is it bad?”

Still no reply from the other boy.

“I’m…I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. You just have to stay strong at times like this, you know?” Seungcheol wasn’t quite sure how to comfort others in times of agony, but something like this would be a good thing to say, right?

They were at a stoplight so Seungcheol took the moment to look at his passenger. Jihoon’s head was faced toward the window.

_Is he…is he crying?_

Seungcheol panicked. What could have been wrong with his brother for him to be in this state?

_He…he doesn’t have…cancer…does he?_

The light turned green and Seungcheol returned his attention to the road. He didn’t know how to comfort Jihoon, so he let the silence envelop them.

Seungcheol made it to the apartment complex. Once he turned off the car engine, he looked at Jihoon again, who was still in the same position as he was in before.

“Jihoon…” He drenched the tone of his voice in sympathy.

Seungcheol didn’t know what to say. Maybe he didn’t have to say anything. He figured maybe it was at times like these where physical comfort was the only thing you could provide to a hurting soul. He unbuckled his seatbelt, placed his hands on Jihoon’s shoulders, and moved to pull the boy into an embrace. Before he could fully pull him in, he felt Jihoon jump and push him back.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa-” Jihoon was now in between the far edge of his seat and the car door, pushing himself as far as physically possible from within a car. Both of them froze and gave each other panicked looks. It was then that the realization hit Seungcheol hard.

“You…weren’t awake.”

“It was a long car ride, okay?”

A sense of dread flooded Seungcheol as he imagined what kind of thoughts were swarming around in Jihoon’s mind.

“We’re here.”

“Thanks.”

“Were you going back to the hospital?”

“Yeah. I can take the bus back.”

“Look. That just now was a misunderstanding, okay? Let me drive you back. It’ll be faster.”

By then, Jihoon already got out of the car and headed toward his apartment unit. Seungcheol didn’t know if Jihoon would come back or not, so he decided to follow at his tail.

The shorter boy didn’t say anything as they walked up the stairs. There was a figure who emerged out of his apartment.

“Seokmin?”

The older boy turned toward the source of the voice and began running toward the two. Once he reached them, he wrapped his arms around Jihoon. Both Jihoon and Seungcheol stiffened. Before Jihoon could say anything, Seokmin let go and grabbed his shoulders.

“Jihoon! What happened? I just got here, but your door was open and the place is a mess and both you and Chan weren’t there and I-”

“Seokmin, calm down. I probably forgot to close the door this morning.”

“What? What do you mean? What happened?”

“We had an emergency and rushed out to get Chan to the hospital. That’s probably why the apartment is a mess, too.”

“Oh my god…is Chan okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. He just needs to rest at the hospital for a few days.”

Seokmin finally relaxed after hearing the news. He also finally realized that Seungcheol was accompanying Jihoon, and he found that quite strange, considering that Seungcheol gave Jihoon death glares almost every day up until  a few days prior. “This is why we need to exchange numbers. So you could reach me when things like this happen. Give me your phone.”

Jihoon handed his device to Seokmin, having learned that it would have been useful to have his number that morning.

“Are you going back to the hospital tonight?”

“Yeah. I was just gonna shower and take some things with me first.”

“Let me drive you to the hospital then. Just let me know when you’re planning on heading out.”

“I can drive-“ Seungcheol started.

“Thanks, Seokmin.” Jihoon interrupted.

Seokmin caught what Seungcheol was going to say and shot a perplexed look at Jihoon. Jihoon dismissed it and walked inside of his apartment.

“Thanks for your help today, Seungcheol.”

“S-sure. Anytime.”

The door closed on his face, and he was left out in the halls with Seokmin, who shot a hostile glance towards him.

“Don’t you think about doing to anything funny to Jihoon,” he warned.

Seungcheol returned a confused look, but nodded and bowed slightly before turning away and returning to his car. Rather than driving off immediately, he remained in his car to collect his thoughts.

The scene just before was just…so unexpected. Seungcheol tried to make some sense out of it.

_That right now was the TA for music theory, wasn’t it? Is this why Jihoon and Seokmin know each other?_

More than that, Seokmin’s reaction to Jihoon puzzled him even more. What kind of relationship did the two have for Seokmin to hug Jihoon like that and worry over him and his brother?

_And why am I so bothered?_

That night after he got home, thought after thought swam around Seungcheol’s head in circles.

For the first time in years, Seungcheol lost a night of restful sleep.

All because of a certain music theory partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your support! I read your guys' comments and it really helped me gain more confidence.
> 
> There are just characters coming in left and right every chapter lol. Maybe by the time I finish all the members might end up making an appearance XD.
> 
> So I have a lot of plans for this fic, but there are a lot of super deep and dramatic things I have planned (for much later in the future) and I'm not sure if it might be too much or not haha (it's like super k-drama style melodrama lol). But we'll see when the time comes~
> 
> And I'm sooo sorry for the long time between updates. It's been busy TT^TT so this chapter ended up being a lot longer than usual (how in the world did I end up with 5.3k words???). It also ended up taking a while because I was researching like crazy XD. Plus I wanted to make it realistic so I created a schedule of Jihoon's weekly life, to understand how much he works, how much he makes, how much he pays bills, how much he sleeps, etc.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!


	5. Compassion

The soft humming of the engine provided background noise for the otherwise quiet car ride back to the hospital. Seokmin kept one hand on the wheel while the other rested on the car door. Unlike in the ride with Seungcheol, Jihoon stayed awake this time due to the stingingly cold shower he finished a few minutes prior. He kept his face angled toward the passenger window to convey that he preferred not to engage in conversation. His mind was already too occupied with his brother’s condition, the cost of the surgery, and a certain someone’s uncharacteristic behavior. Not much later, they arrived at the parking lot of the hospital. Seokmin shifted the car into park and let the engine run.

Jihoon undid his seatbelt and grabbed the door handle to leave. He turned his head toward Seokmin to thank him for the ride, but his words of gratitude got caught in his throat once his eyes found their target. He wasn’t expecting Seokmin to be looking at him, especially not with eyes that conveyed such sorrowful emotions. He could recognize guilt and pity, both of which Jihoon did not enjoy directed at him. Seokmin noticed Jihoon’s expression change and turned his head back to face the front. Jihoon could almost visualize the words hanging at the tip of Seokmin’s tongue. He let his hand drop from the door handle and sat back into his seat, waiting for the words to come out.

“My offer from before still stands,” Seokmin said, almost in a whisper.

“Hm?”

“About having you and Chan move in with me. I’m still open to the option.” Seokmin angled his head slightly to the right and glanced over to see if Jihoon had reacted in any way. There was no movement from his passenger.

Jihoon didn’t answer. Instead, he dropped his gaze and let the humming of the engine take over while he collected his thoughts.

 

.......................................

 

.......................................

 

Seokmin had always showed concern for Jihoon since Day 1, when he and his brother first moved into the apartment unit next door. Unknowingly to Jihoon, Seokmin had witnessed multiple personal moments through the first few weeks during the summer after they moved in. On the day that the two brothers moved in, Seokmin happened to be returning to his apartment from a trip to the grocery store while they stood outside of their unit. He was ecstatic to have new neighbors, since many of the apartment units on his floor had been unoccupied for a few months after the student living there prior graduated and moved out. He smiled to greet the two, but as soon as he opened his mouth to greet them, the shorter of the two suddenly shouted a few choice expletive words as he violently kicked at the door. Seokmin watched as said boy stormed down the hall muttering indecipherable words, and he picked up something about a key not working. Once the boy’s back disappeared as he spun around the corner, Seokmin turned back and met eyes with the other boy, who looked to be slightly younger. The boy stood with one hand holding his forearm, head down.

“I’m really sorry about all the ruckus. But please don’t think of my brother as a bad person. He’s just…been through a lot these past few weeks…” the boy said, trailing off as he lost himself in thought. Seokmin thought that he could see tears forming in the boy’s eyes. The boy hung his head further and avoided looking Seokmin in the eyes again.

“Okay, okay. I think I got the gist of things,” Seokmin said. “You’re moving in, but the key doesn’t work, right?” The boy nodded, head still down.

“Well, why don’t you come into my apartment until your brother comes back? At least you won’t have to stand out in this awfully humid weather.”

The boy, relieved that his neighbor wasn’t irritated by the disturbance, lifted his head and gave the other a smile. He trailed behind as Seokmin walked past a few more doors until he reached his unit and fished in his jean pocket for his keys. As he unlocked his door, he began conversing with the boy again.

“I’m Seokmin, by the way. What’s your name?”

“I’m Chan. And my brother’s name is Jihoon.”

“Welcome to Diamonds Apartments, Chan,” Seokmin grunted as he shoved at the door. The worn down doorframe stubbornly gripped onto the door, but with a little force, Seokmin was able to push the door open. He noticed Chan staring at the condition of his apartment with uncertainty.

“Oh, don’t worry too much. These apartments are really a diamond in the rough. You just have to look past a lot of…functional mishaps.” Seokmin watched as the boy chuckled nervously, still eyeing the worn wood. He placed the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter and walked back toward the front door. “I need to go back to my car and get the rest of my groceries, but you’re welcome to stay inside if you’d like.”

The boy shook his head.

“I’ll go and help,” he piped cheerfully.

“Really? Thanks! Once your brother gets back, I’ll help you guys move in, too.”

Seokmin led the way to his car to retrieve the rest of his groceries. He was surprised at how bright and cheery the boy was, especially in comparison to his snappy brother (although he could only judge him by the few seconds in which he saw him). Seokmin was prepared to continue his small talk with Chan if they ever ran out of things to converse about, but the boy kept the flow of the conversation alive. Chan seemed to be a curious child, asking questions others would probably shy away from for a first conversation.

“So how do you like Diamonds, Seokmin-ssi?” Chan questioned.

“Don’t be so formal. Just call me hyung,” Seokmin replied.

“Sure, Seokmin hyung,” he giggled. “So how is it here?”

“Hmm, it’s got its perks. It’s relatively close to the university I go to and the convenience store is half a block from here. There are a lot of places driving distance from here, too, like the hospital and a karaoke bar. Oh, and there’s this meat restaurant right over there that’s absolutely heavenly. Best place to go if you want kalbi. I’ll take you there sometimes!”

Chan chuckled at Seokmin’s excitement. “My high school is actually pretty close to here so I know the area relatively well. I think I might know what meat restaurant you’re talking about, but I’ve never actually been there before. Let’s all go sometime when my brother isn’t working.”

“Does he know his schedule ahead of time?”

“Yeah, but he works a lot. It might be a while before we could get together and go.”

“Hard worker, huh?”

“Yeah…a little too much sometimes.” Chan sighed “I wish he would just take a break once in a while, but he thinks that he doesn’t have the time to.”

The two returned from their first trip. They set down the plastic bags onto the kitchen counter and set off to get the rest of them.

“Why doesn’t he have time to rest? He’s only a high school kid, right? He should go out and have fun sometimes!”

“He’s actually going to start attending college this fall.”

“Oh…I didn’t mean…I thought that-”

“It’s okay. He gets mistaken as a middle schooler all the time. It’s a good thing you told me first, though. He probably wouldn’t be too happy with you if you told that to him. I would try not to mention his height around him,” Chan cautioned.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“So is there anything else you like about Diamonds?”

“Hm…I guess the location and price are the biggest things. Oh, but I should mention that the walls are pretty thin and the kitchen is a little run down. Oh, and try not to shower at night. That’s when most other people use the water to wash dishes or do laundry so all the hot water is used up.”

“Can I ask why you moved here?”

“Sure. I took over a lease for a friend who had to move back to China. But after being here for a while, I realized the location was pretty convenient, so I stayed. My parents actually don’t live too far from this place, but I like living on my own out here. How about you? Is there any particular reason why you chose to move here?”

When Seokmin didn’t hear a reply like he expected, he looked over at Chan. The boy slowed down his pace, until he eventually halted to a stop. Seokmin followed his pace and observed him in silence. After a few long seconds passed, he finally spoke up in a gentle tone of voice.

“Chan? Are you okay?”

“Huh?” He looked up to see Seokmin staring with concerned eyes.

“Are you okay?” Seokmin repeated.

Chan meant to assure the older that he was perfectly fine, but a lump formed in his throat, and all of the sudden, he found it hard to speak. His vision started to blur from the wetness in his eyes, and before he knew it, tears were streaking down his cheeks. Seokmin immediately dropped his handful of groceries onto the floor and wrapped his arms around the boy, who was shocked by his own tears.

“It’s okay,” Seokmin whispered. “Let it all out. You’ll be okay.”

At Seokmin’s words, Chan dropped his bags and began to whimper. He slid his arms around Seokmin, burying his face into his shoulders. Not long after, he began to bawl, letting out his misery and sorrow as he gripped Seokmin even tighter. He had kept his emotions bottled up since his father disappeared, not wanting to concern his brother. But he loved his father, and losing him took a large emotional toll on the boy. Not knowing where his father was or why he left gnawed at him at night. He worried that he might have been the cause, but he would never know. And so he cried to sleep silently many nights, experiencing the sadness by himself as not to worry Jihoon. Chan was aware that Jihoon hadn’t felt the same feelings toward their father. Oblivious to Chan, Jihoon already knew that he was devastated by their father’s departure. He would come home from work late at night and see Chan’s pillow soaked in tears. There was nothing he could do to comfort his suffering brother, and he knew that the younger didn’t want him to know that he had been crying. So Jihoon let him keep up his cheerful façade, even though it tore him apart inside knowing that he couldn’t do anything.

Even now, as Jihoon watched from around the corner, all he could do was stand there while his new neighbor embraced his brother, doing more to comfort the crying boy than he could ever do. The sight broke his heart. It should have been him holding Chan to comfort him. It should have been his shoulder Chan cried on. He stayed frozen as he watched the two gather the bags that they dropped and head back to the neighbor’s apartment unit. Once the door shut behind them, he slid down the wall and brought his knees to his chest. In that moment, he let himself shed a few tears in frustration, for not being there for his beloved brother and for not having the ability to provide him with everything he deserved. And in that moment, the fury that he felt toward his father reached a whole new level, for making Chan suffer emotionally and for abandoning the two to fend for themselves.

Eventually, Jihoon wiped his tears and picked himself up. Moping wouldn’t change anything; it would only serve to waste his time. He headed toward his unit with a (hopefully) working key in hand. Once he reached his door, he stuck the key in the doorknob and gave it a twist. This time, the door unlocked without a hitch. Sighing, he opened the door and entered as a wave of warm, humid air passed by him. He turned on some lights and looked around the apartment. It only took him a minute since it was quite small, consisting of only a bedroom, a bathroom, a small living area, and a kitchen. He returned outside to bring in the two boxes that he and Chan brought. He groaned thinking about how long the moving process would take. They only had a few things, but Jihoon dreaded the trips up and down the stairs, especially for the bed and desk. How he and Chan were going to get the large pieces of furniture up the stairs was something he left for later to figure out. For now, he headed toward the apartment unit that he saw his brother enter and knocked on the door.

The door opened, and Jihoon was suddenly face to face with the neighbor who had comforted Chan from before.

“Hi there,” the neighbor said in a bright tone of voice. “You must be Jihoon.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Your brother told me your name already. I’m Seokmin. Would you like to come in?”

“Oh, I was just coming to pick my brother up.”

Chan popped up from behind Seokmin.

“Hyung, why don’t you come in? Seokmin hyung is really nice. And he’s making spaghetti for lunch.”

Jihoon hesitated, but remembering how kindly Seokmin treated Chan, and how he was able to comfort his brother, he let his guard down and agreed to come in. And so the three ate lunch together, with Seokmin explaining tricks he knew about sliding by the apartment rules, getting the apartment maintenance to fix problems as soon as possible, finding the best time to shower, and anything else he could think of.

Suddenly, Chan remembered his conversation with Seokmin from before.

“Come to think of it, Seokmin hyung, you mentioned that you went to a university nearby, right?”

“Yeah,” he replied. It’s called Daemun and it’s right by a shopping strip. You can expect plenty of street food carts to be lined up along the streets almost every day.”

“Daemun?” Jihoon questioned.

“Hey, isn’t that where you’re going this fall, hyung?” Chan directed toward his brother.

Jihoon nodded carefully.

“Then maybe you two will see each other on campus!” Chan couldn’t contain his excitement in knowing that his brother had one reliable person to turn to at school.

“The university is pretty big, Chan. I don’t think we’ll see each other that much,” Jihoon reasoned.

“Do you know where your classes will be?” Seokmin asked.

“Mostly in the business buildings. I have a music theory class in the arts hall, though.”

“Music theory? Do you know the name of your professor?”

“I think it was…Professor Jung, if I remember correctly.”

“Wow, that’s amazing…”

“Huh?” Both Chan and Jihoon questioned what Seokmin referred to.

“I’m the teaching assistant for that class. It’s just amazing how I ended up being neighbors with one of my students.”

“Don’t you mean one of Professor Jung’s students?” Jihoon pointed with an eyebrow raised.

“Right, right. You know what I mean,” Seokmin laughed. “But anyways, Jihoon, welcome to Diamond Apartments, welcome to Daemun University, and welcome to Music Theory 384.”

 

.......................................

 

.......................................

 

“I know it might be a little uncomfortable with three people living in a one-bedroom unit,” Seokmin continued, “but it’ll at least take a pretty big financial burden off your shoulders.”

Jihoon only stared at the other, not sure whether he expected a reply or not. Seokmin closed his eyes and leaned back against his seat, a sigh escaping his lips. Once he opened his eyes, he continued in the same gentle voice.

“You’re only in your first year of college. Are you sure you’re okay with living like this for three more years? Even more if you’re planning on grad school.”

Jihoon started to pick at his nails to have something to do with his hands. He still hadn’t replied to Seokmin.

“I’ll go home on the weekends so you can have more room for yourself and Chan. Just think about it, Jihoon. I’ll sleep out in the living room so you two can have the bedroom.”

Jihoon stopped picking his nail and curled one hand into another. Seokmin was just too kind to him.

“I’ll be okay. You don’t have to give up your comfort for me and my brother.”

“I just…don’t want to see you suffering like this.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

Jihoon hadn’t expected that response. He looked at Seokmin, who looked back at him with a seriousness that Jihoon wasn’t used to. He returned his gaze to his hands. Seokmin spoke again.

“You have too much on your plate right now. And you know it.”

“Seokmin, I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself. It’s not your business.”

“But it is my business.”

This time when Jihoon looked up, Seokmin returned the gaze with a bittersweet smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“One of my students is struggling to stay awake in class because he’s overloaded with other responsibilities. If he takes a few things off his load, then he’d be able to sleep more at night and less in class. And if I can do something to lighten that load, then I should, shouldn’t I?”

The seriousness in Seokmin’s eyes had faded, and Jihoon could see a hint of the usual playfulness in his eyes.

Jihoon chuckled lightly. “As if.”

Seokmin also laughed. “Well anyways, if you ever change your mind, my offer is still on the table. And don’t just dismiss it because you’re an ‘independent guy who can take care of yourself and your brother.’ It’s okay to admit that you need help.”

Jihoon hummed ambiguously. He knew he couldn’t argue but he also didn’t want to admit that Seokmin could have been right.

“Call me if you need a ride or anything else. You have my number now so use it if you need it.”

Jihoon pulled the door handle again and swung the door open.

“Thanks for the ride, Seokmin. I’ll pay you back later.”

He slammed the door shut, took out the things he brought from the trunk, and headed toward the hospital building, and toward his brother’s room. The lights were dimmed since it was near midnight. Jihoon passed the two beds and carefully dropped off the things in his arms onto the couch in the back of the room. He returned to his brother’s bed. Chan was already asleep. Jihoon sat back in the chair next to the bed and stroked his brother’s hair.

_You’ve gone through a lot today._

He watched his brother sleep with a peaceful expression. A wave of drowsiness hit him, and he was suddenly aware of the lack of sleep he got the night before. Deciding he would rather sleep on the couch than the chair, he stood up. He leaned over and kissed his brother’s head. He whispered almost to the point where his voice was inaudible.

“Thanks for being okay, Chan. I love you.”

Too tired to walk normally, and too tired to care if anyone was watching, he waddled back lazily over to the couch. He used his puffy red jacket as a pillow and tossed the blanket he brought over his small frame before settling down and drifting off to sleep.

The boy laying in the bed adjacent to Chan’s smiled as he closed his eyes, admiring the scene he just witnessed.

_What a nice brother Chan has._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT TT^TT  
> I just never had time to settle down and finish this chapter....too many life responsibilities *sigh*  
> This was actually supposed to be a longer chapter, but I figured I should release something, so I split it in half and I'm currently working on the other half. I'm around halfway done, but don't expect a quick update since I tend to get caught up in things. There was....no jicheol in this one (cries....why would I do this to myself) but there will be in the next one, I promise~!
> 
> That being said, I will probably officially put this story on hiatus (since it was on a hiatus before, really). I hope to get the next chapter out sooner than later, but the next chapter after that might take a while to write up TT^TT. Thank you so much for all of your kind words and support for the story. I do read the comments and I love that you enjoy the story. Anyways, this chapter was slightly shorter than normal, but I hope you enjoyed it~


	6. Perception

Cold air blew around the hospital room, making the room a little too chilly for Jihoon’s comfort, who was sitting up on the couch with his eyes shut, wrapped in his blanket. He bundled the blanket around him tighter, but the action did nothing to shield him from the cold. A soothing ballad played through his black headphones. Jihoon tried to lull himself back to sleep with the music, but the voices echoing from in front of him spoke much louder than the music played. He dragged out a sigh and opened his eyes as he eyed the source of the commotion.

“ARE YOU KIMBAP KIDDING ME?”

Chan’s shoulders raised in response to the piercing voice.

“Seungkwan…maybe we should think about changing the script a little…”

Seungkwan let out a huff of breath and crossed his arms.

“Chan, I know you’re not a very dramatic person, but the more outrageous the script is, the better. _Trust_ me.”

Chan held their skit script in his hands as he lied in bed, while Seungkwan stood by his side, with his own script in hand. Chan directed a look of concern toward his brother, who was had taken his headphones off and hung it around his neck. Jihoon could only shrug apologetically to Chan for not being able to help him out. Warm morning sunlight peered through the blinds and spread over the tile by Jihoon’s feet. Jihoon outstretched his hands to bask them under the light, hoping it would thaw his icy fingers, but the weak sunlight did nothing to warm them.

Chan turned back toward his partner.

“Maybe we shouldn’t go all out then. Since we’re in a hospital we should be a little quieter, right?”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes.

“Alright, alright. I guess so. We _should_ be practicing as if we’re doing the real thing every time, but if you insist, I _guess_ we could go over the skit quieter this time, since we’re in a hospital. Should we start from where we left off, then?”

Chan nodded.

“Okay, then.” This time, Seungkwan whispered almost inaudibly, but his facial expression was the same as when he yelled his line before. “Are you kimbap kidding me?”

Hansol, who was sitting cross-legged on the adjacent bed and observing the pair, stifled a laugh from Seungkwan’s modification. Seungkwan glanced at Hansol briefly, then stepped closer to Chan and whispered not so quietly in his ear.

“Chan, I don’t know if you realized this or not, but that boy across from you has been staring at us for a while now. Should I go say something to him?”

Chan met eyes with said boy, who gave him a cheerful grin in response.

“Ah, I forgot. I should have introduced you two earlier. Seungkwan, this is Hansol, my hospital roommate. Hansol, this is Seungkwan, my class president and my current skit partner.”

“ _And_ best friend,” Seungkwan chimed.

“And…friend,” Chan added flatly.

In response, Seungkwan brought a hand to his chest and wore a pained expression.

“Is that what you really think of me, Chan? I’m so hurt. I guess it was just me thinking we were best friends all along. How could you raise my hopes up like this?”

Hansol froze with a worried look on his face. His eyes darted back and forth between the two. He wasn’t sure whether to take Seungkwan’s dramatic monologue seriously or as a joke. Chan took a glimpse at Hansol and cupped a hand over his mouth.

“Don’t worry about him,” he reassured. “He’s a theater student so he likes to talk a lot. Besides, he knows I’m kidding.” Hansol relaxed and nodded in response.

Moments later, Seungkwan began to sing the chorus of “All By Myself” while making dramatic gestures. His majestic voice echoed in the room, and anyone else listening would have been dazzled by his wonderful vocal quality.

But for Jihoon, who was bordering on a headache, the voice was just an annoyance. He brought his hand toward his face to massage his temples, but it did nothing to ease the pain. He stood up and headed toward the exit.

“I’m gonna head out for a bit,” he groaned, still rubbing his temples. “If you guys need anything, have Chan call me. I’m just gonna walk around.”

Chan’s previously bright expression faded away. “Are you feeling okay, hyung?”

Jihoon nodded but regret the action almost immediately. Yup. It was definitely a headache now. He squeezed his eyes shut for a second before replying.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be back soon,” he groaned.

Jihoon grabbed his coat and belongings and headed out the room. The room fell silent for a few seconds. Seungkwan turned sheepishly towards Chan.

“Was I too loud?”

 

.......................................

 

Seungcheol and Wonwoo were greeted by the door chimes and the aroma of coffee as they entered the cozy café. The space seemed much less crowded than when Seungcheol was there just yesterday.

Wonwoo looked around the café as he trailed behind Seungcheol.

“So, this is where you stalked Jihoon–”

In reflex, Seungcheol whipped around and covered Wonwoo’s mouth with his hand, eyes wide. Realizing that his own actions earned more attention from the surrounding customers than Wonwoo’s words did, he relaxed his hold on Wonwoo and adjusted his jacket, clearing his throat in embarrassment.

“I wasn’t…stalking him…”

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, sure. You were just hanging around in this little café, which happens to have a pretty clear view of the hospital, for half a day just because you felt like it. Sure, Cheol, sure.”

“Well when you say it like that…” Seungcheol mumbled. He felt the heat rising to his cheeks when his friend’s comment made him realize exactly how ridiculous his actions were yesterday.

The two walked up to the counter where a tall male worker was talking orders.

“And what can I get for you today?” the employee asked, flashing his sharp canines at the two.

“A café macchiato, please,” Seungcheol ordered first.

“I’ll take your number,” Wonwoo said playfully as he leaned forward and rested an arm on the counter.

“Um, e-excuse me?” the employee stuttered. He blinked rapidly a few times.

Both the employee and Seungcheol stared open-mouthed at Wonwoo.

Wonwoo slowly retracted his arm and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Or…an Americano is fine, too.” He gave a nervous chuckle and stiffly walked toward a table far, far away from the front counter as Seungcheol and the employee watched him.

“Haha, um. I’ll pay for his drink, too,” Seungcheol said, restraining himself from face palming in embarrassment. As he reached for his wallet, his eyes wandered toward the large glass window, and he was struck with a feeling of déjà vu. Outside, walking along the sidewalk on the other side of the street, was a familiar figure in a puffy red jacket. He turned back around to the worker.

“Actually, can I have those drinks to go?”

Before waiting to hear an answer from the flustered worker, Seungcheol handed him a few bills and rushed to Wonwoo’s side.

“Wonwoo, let’s go.”

“What? But we just got here. I know I might have made a fool of myself but–”

“Something came up.”

“What? Already? What could be so important that…” Wonwoo followed Seungcheol’s line of sight and spotted the figure in red. “Wait a second. Is that…” He looked back at Seungcheol’s face, which gave him answer enough as to who the person was.

“Come on, hurry up!”

“You’re not planning on stalking him again, are you?”

“I didn’t stalk him!”

“Are you going to?”

Seungcheol groaned in frustration.

“Ugh, just come on. Grab our drinks, will you?”

“Sure, sure.” Wonwoo returned to the counter to wait for their drinks. Seungcheol stood right by the door to keep track of Jihoon better and Wonwoo sighed at the sight. The tall employee worked furiously to get the orders out, his back facing Wonwoo. When he turned around, Wonwoo whipped his head down, unable to look the worker in the eye.

“Here are your drinks,” the worker mumbled shyly.

“Thanks,” Wonwoo replied in the same manner, still embarrassed. He swept the two coffee cups out of the worker’s hands and felt his cheeks glow when their hands touched. Without looking back, Wonwoo hurried to Seungcheol’s side and ushered him out of the café.

“Here’s your macchiato.”

“Thanks,” Seungcheol said as he received the drink. He cupped his hands around it to warm his fingers up. His eyes continued to trail the boy in red as he walked at the same pace as the other. Seungcheol and Wonwoo were a couple steps behind, walking on the other side of the street.

“Cheol, watch–“

Before Wonwoo could warn him, Seungcheol stumbled over a trash can in the center of his path, losing his balance and his coffee cup. Wonwoo groaned and face palmed in reaction before walking over to help his friend up.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Once he got up, Seungcheol scanned the area until he found his target again. He started walking again and motioned for Wonwoo to follow. Sighing, Wonwoo did as he was asked and caught up with Seungcheol.

Eventually, Jihoon stopped at a nearby park, settling on one of the swings.

“Okay. We’re definitely not stalking him at all,” Wonwoo hissed. The two ended up squatting behind a couple of bushes on the outskirts of the park. Seungcheol peeked over the edge to see if Jihoon had noticed anything. His back was faced toward them, and he was seated on the other side of the park, so Seungcheol figured that Jihoon wouldn’t be able to hear him.

“What’s he doing?” Seungcheol whispered.

“Why don’t you go and ask? It would be a lot faster,” Wonwoo replied sarcastically.

“Well…there was a misunderstanding yesterday, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had some strange thoughts about me now. I don’t think having him think I stalked him would be a good idea.”

“But _aren’t_ you stalking him?”

“…shut up, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee.

“Really, just what in the world did this Lee Jihoon do to you? I mean, I know you had a thing for him before–”

“I don’t have a thing for him.”

“Sure.”

“I’m just…a little curious, that’s all,” Seungcheol breathed, voice faltering as he faintly heard Jihoon’s voice. At this point, Jihoon got up from the swings and started pacing slowly back and forth in front of the swings. He held a piece of paper in his hands and he moved his lips ever so slightly. Seungcheol tilted his ears towards the direction of Jihoon’s figure and craned his neck over the bushes in order to hear better. While his ears faced Jihoon, his face was directed toward Wonwoo, eyes cast down. Momentarily, Seungcheol forgot his current goal as something else caught his attention. He nodded his head toward the object in Wonwoo’s grip.

“Hey, what’s that?”

“What’s what?” Wonwoo looked down at his own coffee cup. Some black markings he didn’t notice before peeped out from between his fingers. When he turned the cup around, he found the markings made out to be numbers and a name. _Mingyu_. Upon the discovery, he felt a smile creeping onto his face.

“Haha, yes!”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened, and Wonwoo clasped a hand over his own mouth, having forgotten that they were still in hiding. Seungcheol dared to peek over the bushes to check if Jihoon had noticed them. Seeing that his back was faced to them, Seungcheol relaxed and reverted his attention to Wonwoo.

“Wait, did that coffee guy actually give you his number?” Seungcheol snatched the cup from Wonwoo’s hand and stared at the markings.

“What does it look like?”

“But is he your type? He seemed…sort of awkward.”

Wonwoo’s shoulders dropped as he sighed. He took back his coffee cup and took a sip.

“Cheol, haven’t you have learned by now that you shouldn’t judge people without knowing them first?”

Having no good answer, Seungcheol turned back to face the park again, where Jihoon continued to pace. His lips still moved, but the paper was now tucked into one of his jacket pockets.

“What’s he doing?” Seungcheol asked.

“Beats me.”

“Is he talking to himself?”

Wonwoo paused to listen a little more carefully. He looked back at his friend.

“Cheol, I think he’s singing.”

“I don’t hear it.”

Seungcheol held his breath in order to listen. In that moment, when the air stilled and Seungcheol’s movements stopped, he could hear it. A gentle voice filtering through the crisp air, barely audible where Seungcheol was situated. Jihoon had started to vary his pacing path, coincidentally getting closer to the bushes where his stalkers hid. In any other situation, Seungcheol would have panicked, but he was too occupied in trying to listen to Jihoon. He strained his ears to try to hear what the other was singing. He knew that he never heard the sequence of notes before, but the song felt so familiar. They were notes he never heard in reality but heard plenty of times in his mind within the last twenty-four hours.

_Guilty._

“Well, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about your mid-terms. The guy can _definitely_ sing.”

“Why thank you, Wonwoo,” a familiar voice chimed.

At the same time, both Wonwoo and Seungcheol looked up to see Jihoon’s small figure towering over them from the other side of the bush.

“But I have to ask,” Jihoon continued, “what are you guys doing here?” He shot a questioning look at Seungcheol.

Seungcheol could only stare back with his mouth agape. Wonwoo cleared his throat.

“Oh nothing really,” Wonwoo replied calmly, bringing a hand up to the bush. “We were just admiring the beauty of the leaves on this bush,” he said as he plucked a leaf and held it near his face, examining it closely and tracing the veins with his fingers.

Jihoon raised his eyebrows in confusion while Seungcheol groaned.

“But now I’ve got another beauty to examine, so I think I’ll take my leave,” Wonwoo said, tapping his coffee cup and winking at Seungcheol. He stood up from his position and smiled. Seungcheol begged with his eyes not to leave him, but Wonwoo returned him a look that said that he was the one to put himself in this situation. He waved goodbye and walked back in the direction of the coffee shop.

An awkward silence fell between the two, and Seungcheol could not help but pray for Wonwoo’s unlikely return.

After a few seconds with both of them looking around, anywhere besides each other, Jihoon was the first to speak up.

“Hey.”

“H-huh? Yeah?”

Seungcheol finally gathered the courage to look at Jihoon. The shorter boy had his eyes fixed on the pavement in front of him. He didn’t speak up immediately, and Seungcheol wondered if he should respond again. Before he said anything, Jihoon let out a cough and a sniffle.

“I…um…never got to thank you properly for yesterday.”

“Oh. No, it’s fine. You don’t have to thank me for that.”

“No, I do.”

Jihoon lifted his gaze from the pavement and locked eyes with Seungcheol. A chill went down Seungcheol’s back.

“You have no idea how much it meant for me for you to do what you did. Chan, he…”

Seungcheol though he heard Jihoon’s voice break. Jihoon lowered his voice.

“He’s everything to me. So thank you. Truly. For saving him….and me.” Jihoon closed his eyes as he iterated the last of his words, cutting off the eye contact the two of them had.

Seungcheol was at a loss. The sincerity and vulnerability that Jihoon bared before him caught him off guard. For only starting to get to know Jihoon a few days ago, the heartfelt confession was unexpected, flustering Seungcheol. He couldn’t think of a verbal response, but he was also cautious not to make the same mistake from the night before. A chilly breeze whipped past the two, and the sound of dead leaves scraping along the cement surrounded them.

Just as quickly as Jihoon broke down his apathetic walls, he scrambled to build them back up again. His eyes had met Seungcheol’s again, but the sincerity and vulnerability had dissipated, leaving nothing but a seemingly empty gaze.

“Anyways, about our midterm. I still can’t practice on any of the weekdays, so weekends are my only option. If you think one weekend isn’t enough time, I’m fine with practicing today. Chan is doing a lot better so I think he’ll be okay on his own for a few hours.”

“No, it’s-” Seungcheol paused momentarily. He thought back to the gentle voice that he could only get a small taste of a few minutes ago. Thinking back to it, he felt a need to listen to it again, to hear those notes harmonizing with his own. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, I already said that it’s fine.”

“Do you want to practice now?”

“If you want to.”

“Then why don’t we head back to Daemun? There are pianos in the music building that I can use. I can drive us there.”

“Sure. I just need to go back to the hospital and grab a few things first.”

“Do mind if I tag along? I want to see how your brother is doing, if it’s okay with you.”

“If you want to.”

Jihoon turned around to head back towards the hospital and Seungcheol followed. He looked straight ahead as he walked and let their footsteps fill in the silence. The two reached the hospital and were making their way towards the hallway where Chan was admitted, walking without speaking the entire way. Jihoon wasn’t one to speak much, while Seungcheol was preoccupied by thoughts of the night before. The curiosity that haunted him all last night came back.

“So, is it okay if I ask you something?”

The other said nothing in return.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But are you close with the music theory TA? Just wondering.” Seungcheol asked with a calm expression, but his heart was thrashing wildly in his chest.

Once again, Seungcheol felt like he was involved in a one-sided conversation. Except that Jihoon was definitely awake this time.

“Never mind then. Sorry for asking.”

“What was that?”

Seungcheol looked over at Jihoon, who just slipped off his black headphones and hung them around his neck.

“Did you say something?”

“Oh. Um…”

“Hm?”

Seungcheol felt his boldness crumbling. He wasn’t sure if he could ask again. He searched for anything else to talk about, and his eyes were drawn to the childish dinosaur stickers plastered on the headphones.

“Uh…I…like your headphones.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Jihoon rubbed one of the stickers that was peeling on the edge as he smiled reminiscently. “It was a gift.”

“From who? Seok-”

Seungcheol trailed off as he noticed Jihoon slow to a stop by a door to one of the rooms. Jihoon peered into the room occupied by three lively boys with smiles plastered on their faces. A soft grin appeared on his own face as he watched. Seungcheol followed his gaze and spotted the boy he helped from yesterday. Seungcheol hesitantly followed as Jihoon walked into the room.

“Chan, how are you doing?”

Chan turned his attention to his brother, who had called out to him.

“Hyung!”

“Hello, Jihoonnie hyung,” Seungkwan sang.

Hansol simply smiled at the two people who entered.

“Is your headache gone?” Chan asked.

“Yeah, I just needed some fresh air,” Jihoon replied

“Sorry about that…” Seungkwan mumbled.

“Anyways,” Jihoon continued, “I’m going to go practice for a bit with my class partner so will you be okay by yourself for a while?”

Seungkwan grabbed Jihoon’s hand from his side.

“Don’t worry, Jihoon hyung. I’ll be sure to take care of him,” he announced in a theatrical manner.

“I’m fine, Seungkwan. I can take care of myself,” Chan chuckled softly. He looked over and finally noticed the person standing next to his brother. “Oh.”

Seungcheol cautiously stepped forward.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“A lot better. Thank you for helping me yesterday.” Chan smiled peacefully at Seungcheol, but then looked down as he contemplated over something. “Hyung,” he said as he faced his brother. “Did you say this your music theory partner?”

“Huh? Yeah.”

His smile was replaced with a look of confusion, his eyebrows slightly knitted.

Jihoon noticed his brother’s expression change and cleared his throat.

“I’ll be out for a bit, so call me if you need me,” he explained as he reached for a bag on the couch.

Chan nodded, eyeing Seungcheol as his mind churned with thoughts. He watched as his brother left the room with his partner trailing behind.

“Is there something wrong?” Seungkwan asked, looking from Chan to the exit and to Chan again.

“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing,” Chan replied.

_That’s strange. He seemed to be really nice to Hyung yesterday._

_Does he really hate him?_

_It seemed more like…._

“Chan…I’m hungry…let’s get some food,” Seungcheol whined at Chan.

“Okay, okay.” Chan carefully swung his legs out to the side and slid off the bed. “Are you coming, too, Hansol?”

“Can I?” Hansol asked excitedly.

“Of course!”

“Hurry up, guys…there’s delicious food calling for me in the cafeteria…” Seungkwan urged from the door as he wrapped his arms around his stomach.

“We’re coming, we’re coming,” Chan said, only giving half of his attention to Seungkwan.

_It didn’t seem like he hated him at all._

_It seemed more like the opposite._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And we finally have some more jicheol in this jicheol fic (HOORAAAAY)!!!
> 
> ps Did you like that glimpse of meanie?:P Sorry to all the manie shippers but it won't really be expanded upon. I wrote it in as a thing for two friends who are die hard meanie shippers since they did include a bunch of jicheol in their fics >:D. But the meanie isn't just randomly thrown in. It will have some use later haha.
> 
> So I know as of right now, this fic has a certain feel to it (which people seem to like according to comments). So I'm contemplating on keeping the mood of the fic this way, but that would involve a lot of unanswered questions in the end. Or I can continue along my original path, which means all questions answered but a different direction in the plot. I guess one of the reasons updates are taking a long time is my indecisiveness haha. Well spring break is coming up in about two more weeks so hopefully I'll be able to get another chapter in by then. But I also started a one shot that I'm feeling attached to (it's still in the drafting process though) so I miiight not update this quite then. But anyways, thank you for reading and thank you for waiting for these super off schedule updates~
> 
> And I didn't mention it but thank you sooo much to my beta reader (who is not on ao3...) who has read the previous chapter and this one.
> 
> Say hi to me on tumblr @woozi4carats :D


	7. Spark

_F…A flat…C…_

Jihoon set a finger onto each of the keys and gently pushed them down. A weak chord groaned from the body of the upright piano. The boy’s eyes closed and his lips curled upwards.

_So this is what it feels like to touch a piano._

Jihoon stood in front of the instrument with his right hand pressing the keys. He just barely lifted his fingers and then pressed down again, this time with a little more force. A louder chord rang through the small space of the practice room, though the quality of the notes sounded rather dull. Being a school instrument, the piano was a bit aged and probably needed some fine tuning. Despite that, Jihoon felt excitement bubbling inside of him. His heart raced at the thought of even touching the glorious instrument. He slid his hand over and positioned his fingers for a different chord. He brought his left hand up, too. He carefully lined up each finger to its respective position and, after a brief pause, pressed on the keys once more, producing a more grand sound with the addition of his left hand.

Jihoon felt his passion tugging at his heart. The smile that expressed genuine happiness turned to one of ridicule and incredulity aimed toward himself. He felt his desire to pursue music clawing at his heart again, begging to be acted upon. Of course there was no way he could be that selfish. He had family to take care of. Regardless of how much he yearned to chase after his dreams, he had to put aside his desires for something more important, or rather, some _one_ more important.

The smile had disappeared, and Jihoon dropped his hands. He left his right index finger on middle C and pressed down on it.

And then again.

And again.

This time, not in awe of the piano but lost in thought, wanting something mindless to do with his hands as he immersed himself in his anguish.

The door swung open and Seungcheol came in carrying a chair, oblivious of the other’s mood.

“Having fun?”

Jihoon let his arm go limp and swing back to his side in silence.

Seungcheol placed the chair at the corner of the room and plopped down onto the piano bench.

“You should keep your fingers curved when you press on the keys to get a better tone out of the piano. Like this.”

The boy demonstrated using the same chord that Jihoon had previously played. A simple, yet beautiful chord rang, with characteristics of gentleness and forcefulness present simultaneously. Jihoon was at awe of how different the same simple chord sounded between the two of them. He hovered his hands over the keys again, but before he could attempt the chord again, Seungcheol burst out.

“No, no, no. Don’t be standing while you play or else your wrist bends at an awkward angle. If you sit down, your arms will be in a better position.”

He reached for Jihoon’s waist and pulled him down onto the piano bench, startling the other. The sudden intimate contact caused Jihoon to tense up, but Seungcheol didn’t seem to take notice. Seungcheol then removed his hands from Jihoon’s waist and gently touched the other’s wrist to point out the places he wanted the other to adjust. He felt Jihoon submit to his touch and allow the pianist to guide him.

“Just…like…that,” he whispered as he gradually released his hold on the other. He breathed out and smiled.

Jihoon didn’t expect to see the other wear such a bright expression, especially not for something as insignificant as his now perfect posture. That and the waist-grabbing caught him off-guard, leaving him slightly flustered and at a loss for words. He stared skeptically at Seungcheol.

And Seungcheol stared right back. The moment lasted longer than how long any normal eye-contact between friends should have, much less classmates who were more or less familiar with each other. In the moment, Jihoon’s thoughts were overtaken by the thought of how strangely captivating the other’s eyes were. At this close of a distance he was able to see how his onyx irises glistened under the dim lights in the room, and how his eyes naturally drooped in an alluring manner, and how his thick eyelashes lined his eyes in a heavy black line. He noticed the way that Seungcheol seemed to stare past him: focused on him, and yet lost in his own thoughts, just as Jihoon was lost in his. He watched Seungcheol returned to the present moment, and soon afterwards he saw the boy’s eyes widened before he began to blink excessively. At that point, Jihoon also blinked a few times, remembering where he was. Seungcheol shook his head quickly and directed his focus at Jihoon’s hand instead.

“Are you gonna try it?”

“Try...it?”

“The chord. You can try playing it now.”

“O-oh.”

_Oh, so that’s what he was waiting for._

“Wait, not yet. You lost your posture. Lift your wrist more so it’s straight.”

Seungcheol motioned to touch the underside of Jihoon’s wrist again. Jihoon corrected his posture in order to avoid the contact. Once Jihoon adjusted his position, Seungcheol dropped his hand.

“Remember to use the tips of your fingers.”

Jihoon nodded before concentrating on his hand. After a deep breath, he pressed into the keys once more as instructed. Immediately, he could feel the difference, as well as hear a much clearer sound ring out. The chord didn’t ring as clearly as it did when Seungcheol played it, but it was an improvement from the first time Jihoon tried. Jihoon looked up to find his partner scoffing in disbelief.

“What?”

“Seriously…does everything come easy to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“That chord. It resonated really well for someone who’s claimed to have never touched a piano.”

Jihoon let his arm fall back to his side.

“Don’t you think you’re exaggerating a bit?” he mumbled as he clasped his hands together in his lap.

“I wish,” Seungcheol laughed dryly.

A silence fell between the two, a reaction that had become common for them within their past few encounters.

“You said you were majoring in economics?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Are you minoring in music?”

“No. Why?”

“Just wondering.” Seungcheol paused, thinking about whether to ask another question or not. “Um, can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Why are you in music theory? Is it because…”

Seungcheol let his sentence drift off. He wasn’t quite sure how to word his question without sounding insensitive or nosy, but he also wasn’t exactly sure of what he was going to ask. He turned back towards the piano.

“Never mind. Let’s get started, shall we? That way you can get back to your brother in the hospital sooner.”

Seungcheol lined his fingers up to the keys. Jihoon stayed seated, straightening his back and fixing his posture. Moments later, Seungcheol started, setting the tempo at a moderate pace. His fingers stroked the keys with grace and power. Jihoon almost missed his cue, too distracted by the mesmerizing movements of his partner’s hands, the way his partner’s wrist circled gracefully, and how he could visibly observe the momentum of power carrying from his torso to his arms to his wrists and then to his fingers. He took a short breath and began accompanying the piano.

It was a strange combination, a vocal accompaniment supporting a piano melody instead of the other way around. But it was strange in an enchanting way.  Two musical components that at first seemed to clash, but in reality danced to the steps of an elaborate tango, the lead switching off between the two parts.  Each step was carefully placed, as practiced separately by the two. Once they had reached the end of the first run through, the two of them sat in silence, taking in what they had just heard. They had both practiced alone plenty of times, but hearing the combined parts created an entirely different feeling than before. Seungcheol was the first to break the silence.

“That…sounded…really strange. But not in a bad way, I don’t think.”

“Yeah.”

Seungcheol looked over at his partner, whose eyes were closed.

“What do you think?”

Jihoon remained in his position, giving no indication of a response. Seungcheol watched as the boy’s chest rose and fell with every deep breath. His eyes gravitated towards Jihoon’s face again, and he suddenly thought of the first day he saw him. Jihoon’s skin remain the same fairness as from before. His face wasn’t outlined by golden sunlight, but it radiated with purity, nonetheless.

Seungcheol replayed the run-through of the song in his head again, noticing details that he skipped over when they ran through the music. Jihoon’s vocals weren’t perfect. There were plenty of places where he could use a bit more training. A few weaker spots. A couple notes slightly off pitch. But something about his voice drew Seungcheol in. A particular quality made Jihoon’s voice stand out, even amongst other great vocalists. And Seungcheol was absolutely certain that if he were to isolate that one quality, he would find the one thing missing in his own performance quality. He just couldn’t quite put a finger on what that quality was.

“Beautiful.”

Seungcheol snapped his head toward Jihoon when he heard his voice.

“Huh?”

Jihoon finally opened his eyes. He directed his sight toward the keys in front of him.

“That was beautiful.”

Seungcheol had forgotten that he asked a question. They had been sitting wordlessly for at least a few minutes, so he hadn’t expected an answer.

“What were you thinking about?”

Once again, Jihoon closed his eyes, and Seungcheol was prepared to wait another few minutes for a reply. This time, Jihoon opened his eyes again after a few seconds.

“Just that music is…so...” He let out a soft chuckle as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t even have any words to describe it. There are so many words I know, and yet none of them could describe what music really is.”

Seungcheol watched the other occasionally burst in soft chuckles and was surprised to find himself smiling. Just the light airiness from the other made Seungcheol feel as if he were floating. The soft bell-like laugh echoed the walls of the practice room.

“You…really love music, don’t you?”

The chuckles ceased. Jihoon left the smile plastered on his face, but it emanated a feeling of sorrow, rather than joy.

“A little too much,” he replied.

“What does that even mean?”

“Nothing.”

_Nothing?_

Feeling Seungcheol’s gaze on him requesting further explanation, Jihoon cleared his throat and attempted to divert the other’s attention.

“I think it sounds pretty good, but we can definitely fix things up. This emphasis for this section came out a little weak, so why don’t we…”

As Jihoon continued to talk and mark their scores to scribble in changes, Seungcheol let Jihoon’s voice drone out, staring at the boy’s profile.

_What does that mean? How do you love something too much?_

“…and I think simplifying this part will make the song even more dynamic. What do you think?”

“Huh?”

Jihoon looked at his dazed partner and repeated his question. “What do you think?”

“Uh…yeah. I think so.”

After giving Seungcheol a look of skepticism, he continued.

“Then why don’t we try practicing these parts a few times before running it again?”

“Sure.”

To Jihoon’s surprise, Seungcheol ran through the adjusted sections almost effortlessly. Despite reading the new music for the first time, he didn’t show any signs of hesitation as he played the notes. Through the sight-reading, Jihoon was able to grasp the extent of his partner’s ability. He was certain that countless hours in a span over a significant number of years were put into practicing, performing, and perfecting. Despite the notes being precisely what he had written down, something just felt off about the way Seungcheol played, but he wasn’t quite sure how to describe it.

“What do you think of the adjustments?”

“For the most part it’s fine. But for this section, why don’t we do this, instead?”

Seungcheol lifted his pencil to write it down onto the music sheet, but thought better of it and demonstrated on the piano. Jihoon seemed to be someone who understood easier by listening than by reading.

“It’s similar, but by doing it this way, we can really emphasize the motif.”

Jihoon nodded slowly, taking in what he just heard and analyzing how it would sound with his part added in.

“Okay, let’s do that. Then do you want to practice the sections a bit more before running through it again?”

“Yeah.”

Before they were able to start, Jihoon’s phone went off. Jihoon immediately took his phone out of his pocket and answered the call without looking at the caller ID.

“Chan?”

“Jihoonie hyung…” the voice whispered.

Jihoon’s face turned grim.

“Seungkwan? What’s wrong?”

“Well…the thing is…”

Jihoon felt his heart throbbing heavily. He started to gather his things in a panic. He held the phone with his shoulder while he packed his bag and grabbed his jacket. Seungcheol started to panic internally, unsure of what was happening.

“Spill it, Seungkwan. What happened?” Jihoon asked urgently.

“We were wondering…if you could...perhaps get us some bingsoo…”

Jihoon froze in place with one arm in his jacket. He could hear Chan’s muffled cries in the back for Seungkwan to return his phone.

“Jihoonie hyung? Hello?”

A moment later, Jihoon collapsed onto the piano bench, releasing all of the tension he had built up in his body.

“Seungkwan, please don’t scare me like that.”

“Sorry…”

“Sure, I’ll get you bingsoo if you guys want it. I’m still practicing right now so it might be a while, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you hyung,” Seungkwan cooed sweetly before he hung up.

Jihoon put his belongings back down and swiveled himself to face the piano again.

“Is everything okay?” Seungcheol asked hesitantly.

“Yeah. I thought something happened to Chan but the kids just called because they wanted bingsoo.”

“Oh. That’s good then.”

“Anyways, sorry about that. Let’s practice a bit more for now. And then we can call it a day in an hour or so.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Seungcheol stared at the piano keys in front of him as he thought. It felt like he was missing something when he watched how much Jihoon cared for his brother. The way he dropped everything the moment it looked like Chan was troubled. The way Jihoon put his brother above school responsibilities and other people. Was it normal for a boy to be this concerned with his brother? Watching Jihoon worry about his brother made him think to his own relationships with his parents.

_Is this…what family is supposed to be like?_

.......................................

“Seungkwan! Could you give me my phone back now?”

Chan put his hand out expectantly at Seungkwan, who had just ended his phone conversation with a satisfied grin on his face. Seungkwan complied.

“Why would you ask him for bingsoo? Isn’t it too cold for iced sweets?”

Seungkwan placed the phone in Chan’s outstretched hand. “Life Lesson Six: it’s never too cold for bingsoo.”

Hansol laughed silently as Chan sighed in defeat.

The three of them had returned to their hospital room once they finished lunch. Hansol and Chan sat on their respective beds and Seungkwan was leaning on Chan’s bed facing Hansol.

“Okay, but you’re the only one I know who actually eats bingsoo in the winter,” Chan said, shivering at the thought.

“And that’s why I’m the only one who knows how good it is during the winter," Seungkwan proclaimed.

Hansol pursed his lips and looked up in deep thought. After a few seconds, he looked over at Chan and said, “I think bingsoo would taste good during winter.”

Seungkwan grinned. “I like you, kid. Let’s be friends.”

Seungkwan didn't think Hansol’s smile could get any bigger, but he was proven wrong as the boy practically glowed in delight.

“Friends,” the boy echoed softly.

Chan glanced at Hansol and reflected a smile back. _He must have been lonely all this time_ , he thought.

“Yeah, friends,” Seungkwan repeated. “Once both you and Chan get discharged from the hospital, we can hang out and get bingsoo and stuff.”

Hansol’s expression visibly dimmed.

“I mean….unless you live far away from here. I guess we probably go to different schools if Chan and I haven’t seen you up until now. In that case, we can hang out during our school breaks, right?” Seungkwan asked innocently.

Chan noticed Hansol’s gaze wandering along the floor.

“That would be really nice,” Hansol responded, smiling again. “But I’m probably going to be at the hospital for a little longer.”

“Hm? Well that’s okay. If it’s only a little longer then Chan and I can wait for you.”

“Seungkwan,” Chan nudged his friend. Seungkwan looked over at Chan, oblivious to the situation.

“Ah, well, I’m waiting on a kidney donor,” Hansol explained. “I don’t know how long it will take, but people usually stay on the waiting list for years.”

Seungkwan rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah, sorry. I guess I didn’t think about that.”

Hansol shook his head. “It’s okay. I’m used to being at the hospital now. And I’m really happy that you’ll let me be your guys’ friend.”

Upon hearing this, Seungkwan straightened up and faced Hansol. “Alright, that’s it. We’re making a promise right now. Chan and I will visit you at the hospital every week until you’re discharged, and once that happens, we’ll throw a party at my house. Right, Chan?”

Hansol was taken aback by the declaration, but Chan smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Are you sure? I’ll probably be in the hospital for a really long time, and you guys will be busy with sch-,” Hansol rambled.

“Sh, sh,” Seungkwan hushed Hansol, waving his finger. “We’re friends now. Of course we should visit you as much we can! Besides, what else is there to look forward to every week if we didn’t show up? The lame hospital food?”

Hansol laughed lightly. He lowered his gaze toward the ground and whispered, “Thank you...Thank you, guys.”

Seungkwan walked over to Hansol’s side and swung his arm over the boy’s neck. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Hansol looked at Seungkwan, and then at Chan, and then back at Seungkwan again. His lips curled into a warm smile.

“Yeah.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all. Long time no see. I decided I wanted to finish this fic and have begun to write again. Unfortunately, it's been over 2 years and I no longer remember where this fic was going, so I'm trying to create a similar (and simpler) plot to finish the story. Thank you all for reading, and sorry for making you wait such a ridiculously long time. Honestly speaking though, I probably won't finish for a while, as my creative juices need replenishing, but I will try to finish this (...one day).


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